


Forever Survivor

by xiujinhoon



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Death, Depression, Existentialism, Other, Underage Substance Use, also hongseok is mentioned once, also im dead inside so if the emotional scenes aren't emotional thats why, i did this for my aces and aros we outchea, i really said screw 96 line rights, most of the ships are platonic btw, not @ how this was going to be a oneshot but then i created a backstory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 06:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20484392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xiujinhoon/pseuds/xiujinhoon
Summary: Wooseok's a teenager who has decided that the whole world is against him. But it's okay as long as he has his best friend Hyunggu by his side, since he is all he needs. When things fall apart, Wooseok has to learn how to carry on without him.





	1. New Faith

Wooseok had enough.

It was another day of people ignoring him in class, teachers berating him for not doing his homework, and stress from his parents due to his ‘academic underperformance’ in their words. He took out his phone and loaded his metal playlist, letting the drums thump in his head as he tried to process his rage. _ I’m not saying that everyone in my class needs to die but that is exactly what needs to happen _, he thought. After texting a certain someone that he’ll be on his way he slipped his phone in his pocket and barged his way through the after school crowds, making his way to the main school gate. Waiting for him there was Hyunggu, someone he has the honour of calling his best friend.

Ever since the first day of secondary school when Hyunggu approached him first, the duo have been inseparable. Even though they have different interests and their personalities are completely opposites, they love each other unconditionally.

“Rough day?” Hyunggu asked.

“All I’m saying is I can't wait for this week to be over.” Wooseok turned off his music and stretched his arm towards Hyunggu. “So what's the plan for today?”

“Well,” Hyunggu grabbed the taller boy’s hand. “We’re going back to mine but I need to buy some doughnuts for Jinho, is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure let’s go.”

\------------

They arrived at Hyunggu’s house an hour or so later and met Jinho, sprawled out on the sofa in front of the TV in the living room with his eyes closed. Jinho was Hyunggu’s older brother, and he had also practically adopted Wooseok as well since he would often stay with them after school and on weekends. Once Hyunggu waved the pack of doughnuts in front of him he sprung up.

“I see you brought the goods.” Jinho smiled.

“You seemed like you needed a pick-me-up,” Hyunggu flashed a big grin at his older brother, who by now had sat up and started eating the doughnut pack. “Guess who’s joining us today?”

“Heyo,” Wooseok greeted meekly.

“Well if it isn’t my favourite person in the entire world!” Jinho was met with a playful punch on the arm by his brother, who was pouting. “Anyway,” he continued. “I really can’t be asked to cook today so I’ll order pizza for you guys.”

“Jinho, you’re the only man I trust.” It was Wooseok’s turn to get punched by Hyunggu.

“I'll order online, just tell me what toppings you want."

As they waited for the pizza to come, Wooseok vented to Jinho about his day while Hyunggu was taking a shower.

"... And don't even get me started about P.E man. So we were doing basketball, and it was so fucking humiliating. I don't know why people assume that because I'm tall I'm naturally good at the sport. Please say I'm allowed to skip all P.E lessons till the end of the year."

"Honestly Seok, you do what you gotta do. I’m not at school anymore so I’m not gonna boss you around. I have Hwitaek and Hyojong to do that for me.”

“But I’ve barely seen them since this year started.” Wooseok leaned on Jinho’s chest and whined. “They’re too busy being good students or whatever.”

“I can get them to come visit if you want to.” Hyunggu had now appeared, wearing his lilac pyjamas. He made his way over to Jinho and started pinching his cheeks. “I know Hyojong misses you and I’m sure they’ll make time to see you.”

The doorbell rang and Hyunggu sprang up to get the pizza. Jinho, now free from his little brother’s clutches, left for the kitchen and returned with bowls and a large pack of popcorn.

“Now most of this popcorn is for me cause I don’t like pizza, but how’s about we binge ‘Your Lie in April?’”

“Fine by me.” Wooseok mumbled.

It appeared that the trio were much too tired to watch the entire series, as by the fourth episode Hyunggu had started nodding off and Jinho was fast asleep. 

“Hyunggu let’s go to bed.” Wooseok shook his friend awake.

“Have you messaged your parents already?” Hyunggu murmured. 

“Yeah they know don’t worry.”

“Let’s head upstairs then.”

Even though they had a guest room, whenever Wooseok stayed the night he slept in Hyunggu’s room, as he liked the company and Hyunggu didn’t seem to mind. Wooseok took out a pajama set from the drawer Hyunggu reserves for his clothes and slipped into them while Hyunggu brushed his teeth in the bathroom.

“Have you checked your blood sugar?” Wooseok called out.

“Yeah I’m all good,” Hyunggu replied. “You know, I’ve been diabetic longer than we’ve been friends, I think I know what I’m doing.”

“Just looking out for you, bro!”

“I appreciate the sentiment!”

After Hyunggu finished his skin routine the duo climbed into bed, with the smaller friend assuming the large spoon position. As they were already knackered, they fell asleep almost instantly.


	2. At Dawn's First Light

_ Hi Dad, how was your day? _

_ “Wooseok, your report card came in today.” _

_ I-i can explain! _ _   
_ _ “Save it! You’ll answer to your mother instead.” _

_ Please! No! I’m sorry– _

Wooseok jerked upright, breathing heavily. Tears started to form as he looked at his hands, which were visibly shaking. Hyunggu immediately woke up and pulled Wooseok into his arms.

“It’s okay, it’s just another bad dream.” Hyunggu rubbed his hand up and down Wooseok’s back. He began humming the tune of one of Wooseok’s favourite anime openings. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

They decided not to mention this morning’s events as they came downstairs to greet Jinho. He was scrambling some eggs while listening to a podcast.

“I can’t believe you fakes left me to sleep on the sofa, now my entire left side hurts.”

“Good morning to you too,” Hyunggu planted a kiss on his brother’s cheek. “You looked so peaceful there, I didn’t want to disturb you. Sorry.”

“Eh it’s okay. Seokkie, did you sleep well?”

There was a moment of silence before Wooseok realised the question was directed at him.

“Uhh… yeah?”

“Right.” Jinho turned his attention back to his eggs. “Anyway, let me not hold you guys up. Do you have enough money for lunch and after school? Should I get Dad to send some over?”

“Nah we should be good.” Hyunggu replied. “And before you ask, yes I’ve packed my sweets and my pump is in my bag with my monitor. We do this every morning.”

“Hey there’s no harm in being cautious. Not to be cliche but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“Okay we’re leaving byeeee!” Wooseok had heard this conversation too many times already and he really needed his morning coffee.

On the way to the coffee shop, Wooseok took out a cigarette from his blazer pocket and lit it.

“Hope you don’t mind.”

“Usually I’d object but I think you need this. Just blow the smoke away from me please.”

“Will do.”

They walked in comfortable silence until they reached the shop down the road. Wooseok stumped out the rest of the cigarette and they entered. They got their regular orders: Hyunggu choosing a hot chocolate with an egg and cress sandwich while Wooseok opted for two espresso shots. As they sat down, Wooseok decided to initiate some small talk.

“So uh, how are you coping with your assignments? I have no idea how you're managing to do dance and music, like the coursework must be insane.”

“Honestly, I just work smart. Plus I get inspiration from everywhere so when it’s time to come up with ideas they just… flow? Yeah I dunno but it doesn't take a lot of time to do things.”

“Must be nice.” Wooseok took a sip of his coffee and his face scrunched up a little. “I don’t know how people actually enjoy coffee, it’s awful. Like the only reason I drink it is because I don’t sleep.”

“There are other sources of caffeine you know.” Hyunggu started eating his sandwich. “Like you could try an apple or something?”

Wooseok scoffed. “Me? Eating fruit? A wild concept.”

“Oh yeah, speaking of sleep, do you want to talk about this morning?”

“Not really. Not right now anyway, I wanna temporarily forget it happened so I can get through this week.” He grimaced again as he downed his second cup of espresso. “Fuck me, that’s grim.”

Hyunggu chuckled a little. “Okay, but just know that if you change your mind I’m here, or if you can’t talk to me about it Jinho and the others will gladly lend an ear.” He glanced at the clock on the wall. “Oh crap let’s go, I don’t want to be late today.”   
“Of course you don’t with your perfect student, teachers’ pet ass.” Wooseok whispered under his breath, but it was apparently loud enough for Hyunggu to hear, as he felt a light jab on his shoulder.

“Piss off!” Hyunggu laughed.

\------------

Wooseok had enough.

This time it was because he forgot to do his Geography homework since he was at Hyunggu’s the night before. He had tried to quickly complete it during class but he got caught due to a snitching classmate, and now he had lost his break time privileges as well as his non-existent pride. So here he was, in a classroom with one other student who had forgotten his work, trying to not die of boredom.

“For fuck’s sake!” Wooseok heard the other student curse.

“Damn bro if that isn’t an eternal mood. I don’t get why we can’t just do the work now instead of sitting here doing nothing.”

“Exactly! Man I had things to do today, like I was gonna do my homework for my next class.”

Wooseok snickered. “Well good luck with that.” He turned around so he could finally get a look at the person he was conversing with. He was tan with long hair tied up into a top bun. His eyebrow slit was accompanied by a curved bar piercing. “Now that I think about it, what’s your name?”

“Okay I’m kinda offended since I literally sit in front of you in class, but the name’s Yuto.”

“Ahh my bad, I don't really make an effort to learn the names of my classmates, especially Geography because fuck that class."

“Yeah I guess that makes sense. Not to place the blame on you or anything, but you do seem very unapproachable in class. I mean, when you look at people it’s as if you're planning infinite ways to kill them in your head, no offence.”

“None taken, I get that a lot.”

The pair were interrupted by the bell ringing, announcing that the next period was starting.

“I guess I’ll see you next lesson then?” Yuto picked up his bag and held out his hand, which Wooseok then shook. “It was nice talking to you but I don’t wanna be later than I already am. Bye!”

Yuto dashed off, leaving a bewildered Wooseok behind.  _ Weird,  _ he thought.  _ I guess Hyunggu isn’t the only nice person in our year. _

The next two periods went by in a blur, as Wooseok tuned everything out, his only thought being that he just had to endure the next two hours before meeting Hyunggu for lunch. As soon as the lunchtime bell rang he darted for the canteen to reserve a table for himself and his best friend. He played on his phone for a while until he noticed some movement in his peripheral vision. He looked up to see Hyunggu and… a stranger?

“Hey Wooseok,” Hyunggu and the other person took a seat. “So this is Shinwon. He’s a friend of mine from the year above us.”

_ That’s odd, I thought I knew all of his friends _ , Wooseok frowned. Upon realising he hadn’t returned the introduction yet, he cleared his throat. “Nice to meet you, I guess. Since when did you know each other?”

“Even though I’m not officially a member, I sometimes help out at the music club.” Shinwon started. “I would see Hyunggu a lot and eventually we became friends?” He looked at Hyunggu.

“Yeah. Friends.” Hyunggu glanced back.

“Anyway,” Shinwon continued. “Hyunggu talks about you a lot and you seem like a really great guy, so here I am!” He threw up some jazz hands and awkwardly laughed.

“Well okay,” Wooseok wasn’t sure of what to think of this guy just yet.  _ Why would he go out his way to befriend me if he didn’t have an ulterior motive? Money? I mean my family is rich but no one knows that. Social status? Wait mine is non-existent. Maybe he has no friends and Hyunggu, being the kind bastard he is, decided to help him out. _

His thoughts were disrupted by Shinwon standing up. “Sorry guys I’ll be right back, I just need to use the restroom real quick.”

As he walked away from the table Hyunggu glared at Wooseok.

“Would it have killed you to be a little more friendly?” 

“But I was trying?”

“Then why were you just now giving him the death glare?”

“Ahh my bad, I was deep in thought. I didn't realise I was doing that.”

“This is a mess,” Hyunggu slumped over the table. “Maybe this is the most awkward moment of my life.”

“What about that time when you-”

Hyunggu brought a finger to Wooseok’s lips. “WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT, EVER. Anyways, let's finally start eating, I’m hungry.”

The two ate in silence for a while, until Shinwon eventually rejoined them and the conversation flowed from favourite sandwiches, to academics, to opinions about each subject. And before they knew it, the bell rang and lunchtime was over. 

“Well it was nice getting to talk to you, Wooseok.” Shinwon smiled slightly. “Hopefully we can meet again soon?”

“Oh yeah, that’s what I was forgetting!” Hyunggu suddenly chimed in. He then pointed a finger at Wooseok. “Shinwon’s a member of the Games Club, so if you wanna pop in from time to time, it’s better than having to wait for me after school. Plus you guys can get closer!”

“Oh that sounds kinda cool.” Wooseok was unimpressed but Hyunggu was looking at him with puppy dog eyes, which made it hard for him to go against his word. “Well I’m off then. Hyunggu I’ll see you after school and Shinwon I’ll see you another time, I guess?”

"See ya!"

\---------

Hyunggu and Wooseok opened the front door, and found Jinho who was once again sprawled on the sofa. He appeared to be deep in thought.

"Sorry bro, I have no doughnuts today." The younger brother apologised.

"No, it's okay," Jinho sat up. "I've just had a thought. Since that kimchi has been sitting in the fridge for a while and I feel like eating a bunch of processed food, let's make army stew together!"

"That doesn't sound that bad actually," Wooseok hung his school bag on a coat hook. 

Jinho clasped his hands together. "Okay then fellas, let's roll!" He turned his head to the younger duo. "But change out of your uniform and wash your hands first."

15 minutes later and the trio were in the kitchen getting ready to cook. Jinho took out the spam, bacon, and hotdogs and handed them over to Wooseok. "Okay, you take these and cut them into bite-sized pieces. Make sure you don't make them too small, though." 

"Aye aye captain!" Wooseok saluted sarcastically.

Jinho then took out the kimchi from the fridge, as well as some tofu, onions, bell peppers and spring onions. "Hyunggu, you're in charge of these."

"Ahh, that's too much," he complained. "Wooseok, come and help me when you're done, yeah?"

"No promises." Wooseok was already starting on the tofu.

"Stop complaining Hyunggu or I'll give you more work to do." The oldest playfully smacked his brother's rear. He then took out the seasonings and combined them in a bowl. "Fellas, do we want plastic cheese as well, or is that enough cholesterol?"

"Eh, we might as well, let's go all the way~" Wooseok raised a fist. "For heart disease!"

After a while, Jinho got annoyed at Hyunggu's incompetence and made him sit down while Wooseok still helped out. Eventually they added all the ingredients to the pot and left it to cook. While they waited for it to finish, they joined Hyunggu at the kitchen table.

"Ahhh I'm so hungry," Jinho groaned. "I haven't eaten anything all day."

"The things you can do when you have a functioning pancreas," Hyunggu pouted. "But seriously though, why didn't you?"

"I couldn't be asked," Jinho mumbled into the table.

The trio relaxed for a while, as they were tired from being up on their feet. After ten minutes, Wooseok broke the silence.

“Jinho, I know what we forgot. The ramyeon.”   
“Son of a–”

When the stew had finally finished cooking, Hyunggu and Wooseok set the bowls, as Jinho brought over the pot of stew and eating utensils.

“Ah this is it.” Wooseok inhaled the scent and closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

Jinho looked at him with a perplexed look on his face. “I am so confused right now”

“No it’s just… it’s been so long since I’ve had a nice home-cooked meal, and I’m sitting at a table with people I don’t hate… it’s a nice atmosphere.” Tears started forming in his eyes.

Hyunggu rubbed Wooseok’s back. “Look what you’ve done, your cooking made him cry.” He joked with Jinho.

“No I’m okay, I’m not crying. I just feel… warm? Like my heart feels really warm right now. Yeah… warm.”

“Awh, cute.” Jinho smirked.

“Is this the moment where I say I love you guys? Cause I really do and I feel like I don’t express my gratitude enough.”

“It’s okay, we already know.” Hyunggu rested his head on Wooseok’s shoulder. “Are you staying over today?”

“Nah, I feel like I should go home and show the parents I’m alive.”

“Well just remember that you’re welcome to stay here as often as you want, it’s really no hassle.” Jinho started on the stew. “Anyways let’s not talk about that. Let’s eat, okay?”

The rest of the evening went by smoothly as they continued their anime binge from the night before. Hyunggu and Wooseok hogged the main sofa while Jinho took the other one.

“Thanks again for tonight.” Wooseok whispered in a low voice. “I really needed this.”

“You are so very welcome.” Hyunggu kissed Wooseok’s forehead.

“Likewise.” Jinho pulled out his phone. Oh yeah, it's getting late now. Let me call you a taxi.”

  
  


That warm fuzzy feeling dissipated immediately when he took his first few steps into the house. He left his shoes at the door and trudged upstairs to his room, but not before greeting his father in his study.

“Hello dad, I’m back from Jinho’s. He says hi.”

“Good evening, how was school?” He didn’t look up from his work.

“Same as always. Don’t worry, I’m not failing any subjects.”  _ Not yet, anyway. _

“Okay that’s fine. Well get ready for bed, it’s getting late.”

And that was the end of that. He let out a sigh of relief as he was able to avoid another lecture about working hard in school so that he wouldn’t be a failure and stain his family’s name. He was too tired for that. Unfortunately for him, his mother and was still awake and was standing in front of his bedroom door, arms folded.

“So, how was your day?”

“Tiring, as per usual. Anyways I want to sleep, so could you move out of the way please.”

She refused to budge. “Always so rude. I have no idea where we went wrong when raising you. You’d think because you spent so much time and money raising your son he’d respect you, but here we are. Ungrateful brat.” She finally moved aside and let Wooseok enter his room. He really didn’t have the energy to deal with this, and he knocked out as soon as his head hit the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the story begins~  
If you're wondering how I decide the name for each chapter, it's basically one of the metal songs I listen to as I'm writing the chapters, there is no correlation to the story at all~  
As always, I've proofread this but if I could be notified of any spelling/punctuation errors, that would be great ty ty  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	3. Flying Whales

“I don't know how you do it all the time man, like this optimism?” Wooseok started. He and Hyunggu were sat in the coffee shop, drinking their morning coffee. Their lighthearted conversation had somehow turned dark as Wooseok let his existentialism take over. “How can you be okay when you see the world around us? The world is going to shit and there’s nothing I can do about it!” He put his head in his hands, sighing deeply. “I’m in school going through all this stress for a future that doesn’t exist because fucking billionnaires and politicians don’t care! They don’t care that they’re robbing us of our future cause they’ll be fucking dead!”

Hyunggu pulls Wooseok’s hands from his face and held them in his own, furrowing his brow as he tried to formulate an appropriate response. He then looked into the younger boy’s eyes and nodded, letting him know that he was heard and his feelings were valid. “Well I mean… like… I know it’s silly to say but I don't think about it?” Hyunggu let out a slight chuckle. “Like I understand the whole concern, but I think to myself: this is bigger than me, if I am to truly make myself happy I need to focus on things I can control first.” He picked his coffee which by now had long since gone cold. “For example, this morning I was feeling really shitty so I decided to get the coffee order I reserve for good test results. That made me happier.” He put down the coffee cup and gripped Wooseok’s hands tightly. “And now that I’m with you, my happiness has increased tenfold. Because when I’m with you, those thoughts don’t really creep up on my mind. I just think about how great it will be to pick you up after school and hold your hand on the way back home, cause stuff like that makes be happy. I know I didn’t really answer your question but…”

“Ahhh why are you being so sappy I’m trying to have a meltdown here.”

“Sorry.” He squeezed Wooseok’s hands. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I’m not sure if I'm overstepping my boundaries.”

“Ask away. Don’t worry, I won't get mad.”  
“Your nightmare… was it because of your parents?”

Wooseok removed his hands from Hyunggu’s grasp. “Uhh yeah.”

“So like, do you wanna talk about it? If you feel uncomfortable you don't have to.”

He knocked back his last shot of espresso. “Fuck it, let’s go.”

“So,” He exhaled deeply. “You know how my parents are super pushy and stuff? Well ever since this year started it’s gotten worse. Like every day they’d ask me how I’m doing at school, but not in the “I care about you” way. More like “you better not fuck up or we’ll disown you”. Honestly, it’s too much pressure.”

“Not to ask an obvious question, but have you told them that you feel this way?”

“Heh. They just dismissed it as ‘teenage feelings’ the first time I did, whatever that means.” Wooseok slumped over the table. “I just wish I could go back to when they just hated each other, like this extra layer of academic expectations is too much. Sometimes I just wanna flunk my exams on purpose as a massive fuck you to them.”

“You know that won’t do you any favours.”

“Self sabotage myself so that my parents will give up on me? I see no problem with that.”

“Okay but what about afterwards?”

“Hmm, well I’ll either die of a mysterious illness or the apocalypse will start by then, so it’s not my concern.”

\-------------

Hwitaek and Hyojong entered the school library at the end of the school day. They scanned the room looking for a spare table until they saw Wooseok sitting alone by the corner. He was surrounded by sheets of paper and had a very distressed look on his face. Hyojong looked at Hwitaek and he returned the gesture. They both silently decided to go and greet Wooseok and so they made their way over.

“Sup friend,” Hyojong beamed at the struggling student. “How you doing~”

“If it wasn’t for the fact that we’re in the library I would've cussed you the fuck out now why are you here?” Wooseok hissed through his teeth.

“Damn bro, I mean nice to see you too” Hyojong scratched his head.

Hwitaek grabbed a chair and took his folder out of his bag. “Anyways, how’re you doing pal? What subject is that?”

“Japanese,” Wooseok groaned. “Kill me now. I mean I only took this language because FUCK FRENCH and I wanted to able to watch anime without subs, but GOD DAMN this is draining the life out of me!” He sunk further into his seat, staring at the ceiling.

“Oh?” Hwitaek pointed a finger at Hyojong. “I could’ve sworn you took Japanese.”

“Yeah I did, lemme take a look.” Hyojong picked up one of the stray worksheets on the table and took a glance. He then sucked in a sharp breath. “It’s all coming back to me now.”

Wooseok stood up suddenly, making his chair fall over with a clang. “BRO YOU GOTTA HELP ME.” He reached over the table to embrace Hyojong.

Suddenly the librarian appeared from around the corner with a not-so-pleased expression on her face.

“Okay but don't do that again unless you want us all to be kicked out.” Hyojong replied.

  


After what seemed like forever, the trio finished their work and took a walk in the school field, waiting for Hyunggu to finish at Dance Club.

“Thank God that’s all over, worst experience of my fucking life.” Wooseok grumbled.

Hyojong patted him on the back. “Np np fam, I’ve been through the same thing so I know how it feels.”

Wooseok sighed loudly. “Omg tell me how to handle this, finna commit sudoku.”

“PLEASE never say that again.” Hwitaek looked at him in disgust.

“Fuck you bitch you ain’t my mother-”

“ANYWAYS,” Hyojong interrupted. “What should we do now?”

Wooseok pondered. “Hmm well Hyunggu doesn’t finish until 6 so imma just hang around, you guys can leave if you want to though, don’t feel pressured to stay because of me.”

Hwitaek grabbed Wooseok’s arm. “Please don’t think we’re staying because of obligation. We haven’t seen you in a while and we don’t want you to think we don’t care for you.”

“Yeah, plus I kinda need a distraction from the extended essay.” Hyojong chimed in.

“Okay, fair enough.”

The trio walked in silence for a few more minutes until Wooseok piped up.

“Hey guys?”

“Huh?” the other two replied.

“Do you think I’ll make it past this year?”

Hwitaek stopped walking and the other shortly followed.

“Uhh what makes you say that?” Hwitaek enquired.

“Well,” Wooseok started. “I’m just afraid I’ll do something stupid. I mean, what if one day I get tired and decide to end it all?”

Hyojong kept quiet as he knew Hwitaek was better suited to these kind of conversations. Instead he hugged Wooseok from behind, hoping he could get his message across.

“Honestly I don't think I can answer that. What I can say is just the fact that you haven’t already is a testament to how strong you are and I don’t think you realise that.”

“Yeah bro we weren’t always this composed, but as soon as we stopped associating our inherent worth with our academic performance,things got a lot better.” Hyojong finally contributed to the discussion.

“Plus,” Hwitaek added. “I’m sure you already know this but the school has really good resources for support with stress and depression.”

“Yeah, don't kill yourself you’re so sexy aha,” Hyojong joked.

“Uhhhh sure.” Wooseok wasn’t going to question it.

Eventually, Hyunggu finished at his after school activity and met the other three in front of the school gates.

“Oh, Hwitaek, Hyojong! Long time no see!” He pulled them into a clumsy 3-way hug.

“Sorry we haven’t been showing up the clubs, we’ve been swamped with coursework recently.” Hwitaek ruffled Hyunggu’s hair.

“No, it’s okay, you’re in your final year, so it’s understandable.” Hyunggu returned the attack. “I’m only slightly salty.”

Wooseok butted in. “I’m also here, you know. Like your best friend?”

“Awh, how could I forget you?” He linked arms with the taller student. Hyunggu then turned around to the older duo. “Let’s get going, shall we?”

When they reached Hyunggu and Jinho’s house, they found that the older brother was scarfing down some profiteroles in the living room while browsing something on his phone. He hurriedly tried to hide the evidence as the others came into the room, but he was too late.

“Bro! I was gonna eat those today!” Hyunggu lunged for Jinho. Suddenly the two brothers were pretend-wrestling in the middle of the room, surrounded by a reluctant crowd.

"Are you done?" Wooseok made an attempt to break the two apart. "Like, Hwitaek and Hyojong are here."

"Oh?" Jinho sat up. "You should've told me that you were coming over, I would've prepared something special. All we have in the fridge is yesterday's leftovers.”

“Oh, it’s fine, really,” Hwitaek assured his friend. Anyway, it’s been ages since we’ve been together as five. Let’s catch up.”

Everyone went to sit on the sofas except for Hyunggu, as he wanted to take a shower beforehand. 

“So, my dearest Hwitaek and Hyojong,” Jinho started. “How’s your school life without me? Are you making friends?”

Hyojong scoffed. “First of all, we’re in Year 13 not Year 7. Second of all, who makes friends in their final year? That’s just weird.”  
“Relax, he’s joking.” Hwitaek punched his shoulder. “Anyways, Jinho, we’re doing fine for now. It’s that time of the year when all our coursework deadlines are coming soon, so we’re a little stressed. But it’s nothing we can’t tackle.”

“Ah, that's good to hear. You may not hear me say this a lot, but I really do care about you guys.” Jinho turned to face Wooseok. “That includes you as well.”

“Seems fake but okay.” He mumbled to himself.

Hyojong suddenly got up. “I’m sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sheer amount of love I have for you!” He sat down on Wooseok’s lap and offered him a hug, which he hesitantly accepted.

“What about you then, Wooseok? What’s on your mind right now?” Hwitaek stretched out his legs now that he and Hyojong were no longer sharing a sofa.

“Hyunggu, but what’s new.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I might as well, I mean you’ve known him for longer than I have. He’s just too, nice?”

“Well that’s just how he is, you know that already.”

“Yeah, but he rarely raises his voice at me; he actively listens to my vents; he deals with my outbursts... He already does so much for me it’s unfair. And he never asks for anything in return. Like, I feel so bad that he’s the support friend and I can’t really do anything about that.”

“Wooseok, that's nothing to feel bad about.” Jinho finally spoke up. “Hyunggu’s just that kind of person. Hell, he’s even acts as my support friend sometimes. Plus, if he didn’t like that, he wouldn’t have stayed by your side all these years.”

“That’s true, I guess. I don't know guys, I just keep thinking that everyone’s still around me because of a sense of obligation, like no one _ truly _ likes me.”

Hyojong flicked Wooseok’s chin. “My guy, you’re actually a dumbass.”

“What he said.” Hwitaek chimed in. “Believe it or not, but there are people out there who genuinely like you, ourselves included.”

“If you’re that concerned about it, talk to him later.” Jinho put a reassuring hand on Wooseok’s shoulder.

\-----------------

As Hyunggu and Wooseok got ready for bed, the latter decided to ask what was on his mind.

“Hyunggu? Do you like me?”

“Well, that came out of nowhere. Yes, why do you ask?”

“I was thinking about how I shit of a person I am again.”

He walked over to Wooseok and cupped his cheeks. “You are my best friend, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to befriend you on that first day of school.”

“So you don’t see me as a burden?”

“A burden? Sure, a handful, but never a burden.”

“Okay, but you’d tell me if there was a problem with my behaviour, right?”

“Yep. Now let’s get ready to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, the way I had to tap into my teenage feelings to write that *insert skull emoji*  
As always, notifying me of any typos/punctuation errors is appreciated ty ty  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	4. Cold as Perfection

Wooseok was at the school gates by himself today. Hyunggu woke up with a really low blood sugar, so he said that he should leave first and he’ll see him later on today. It really annoyed him how Hyunggu wouldn’t let him assist him, something about him not wanting Wooseok to see him in that state, but he had Jinho so he’d be fine. He put his earphones in, turned on his metal playlist, and made his way to his first class, Geography.

Today wasn’t all that bad, as the teacher had left the students to their own devices, as all they had to do was tweak the case study examples they would use in the final exam. So Wooseok just sat in the corner of the classroom, furiously trying to revise Japanese grammar. After a while, someone came and sat by him.

“Wooseok! How’ve you been?”

“Hey… guy?”

“You forgot my name, didn’t you.”

“Sorry.”

“Its Yuto. Anyway I sorta noticed that you're not doing  _ Geography _ work during  _ Geography _ class. Do you have homework due next period as well?”

“Nah, I just want to review some stuff so I don’t fail the next test. It’s like the  _ one _ subject I don’t want to fail.”

“Ooh lemme see…” Yuto took a look at the textbook Wooseok had open. “Wait… you do Japanese?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Is just… you didn’t strike me as the type of guy who would, that’s all.”

“I’m not sure if that statement was supposed to be flattery or an insult. So, like, could you please leave me alone, unless you somehow know Japanese.”

Yuto scoffed. “My guy, what is my name?”

“Yuto, my memory isn’t that bad.”

“...And?”

“What do you mean, and? What’s so significant about being called– Ah.”

“Oh my God, you’re such a dumbass!” Yuto laughed.

The boys spent the rest of that lesson reviewing all the grammatical structures he needed to know for the test, as well as recapping essential vocab that Wooseok should have known already. When the bell rang for the next period, they packed up their books and prepared to go their separate ways.

“Oh, before I forget,” Yuto took out his phone. “Lemme get your number. Let’s hang out again and do Japanese sometime.”

Wooseok took his phone off him. “Um, sure. Okay there you go. Isn’t it annoying for you, like I’m pretty sure I’m the worst student ever.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Plus, I'm not sure if you’ve noticed but I don’t really have any friends in this class either. You’re like the only person in this class who isn’t a conceited bitch.”

“Oh that’s cool. Well I’d better get going now, a test awaits me.” He handed Yuto back his phone.

“Good luck, friend. Make sure you pass, cause I don’t want to have wasted  _ valuable  _ Geography time.” He joked.

Wooseok laughed. “Will do, thanks!”

Lunchtime came around and Wooseok got to hang out with Hyunggu, who he hadn’t seen since this morning’s happenings. As today’s weather was nicer than usual, they decided to eat their lunch on the school field. Sitting on their blazers and surrounded by daisies and clovers, Wooseok decided to fill Hyunggu in on what he’d missed.

“So I made a friend today, I’m not sure if you know him, but his name’s Yuto.”

“Adachi, right? He’s in my science classes, he’s alright.”

“I don’t know his surname, but sure. Anyways, today in Geography we just spent most of the lesson doing Japanese work instead. And because of him,” Wooseok paused to take a bite of his sandwich. “I did the best I’ve ever done on a weekly quiz! Even Sensei said that she was proud of me. She’s never said it explicitly but I know she was beginning to lose hope.”

“Well that’s great to hear!” Hyunggu praised his friend. “Keep up the great work, yeah?”

“Mmm. Oh yeah, now I need to message Hyojong and tell him that I no longer require his assistance.”

“Damn, he’s been replaced already? Cold.”   
“Okay but hear me out. Why should he waste his time teaching me a subject that he doesn’t even study anymore? And it’s not like he’s fluent in Japanese either. He’s in his final year and he should be putting his time to good use.”

“Okay that makes sense. You do you.”

“Anyway, enough about me. You doing good?”

“Same old, same old.” Hyunggu played with his salad. “I just feel out of energy, but that’s okay. Jinho gave me a giant pack of sweets before I left the house, so I’ve been munching on those to get through the day.”

“Wanna go eat something after school?”

“Can’t. I’ve got to work on my music coursework and I’m not sure how long it’s gonna take.” Wooseok noticed the dejected tone in his friend’s voice.

“Hyunggu, are you okay?”

“Yeah, today’s just been… hard. Don’t worry though, it’s just the effects of this morning that’s making me like this.”

“Okay, if you say so. Don’t overwork yourself.”

Hyunggu laid down on his back and stared up at the clear sky. He took a deep breath in and held it, exhaling five seconds later.

“Wooseok?”

“What’s up?”

“Shinwon’s expecting you at games club today.”

_ Oh, right.  _ Wooseok had completely forgotten about him.

“Do I really need to go? I have things to do.” Wooseok complained.

“You and I both know that that’s false. Please, just do this for me.”

“Okay fine, but only this once.” He decided to lie down next to his best friend. “Can you tell me at least why you're so adamant on me and Shinwon becoming friends?”

Hyunggu bit his lip. “No comment. But thank you for this, I appreciate it, really.” His eyelids slowly closed. “I think I’m gonna nap for the rest of lunch. Wake me up when the bell rings.”

“Will do. Just don’t die on me, that would be a massive inconvenience.”

Hyunggu weakly chuckled. “Yeah, yeah. See you in a few.”

It turns out that Hyunggu was right, and Wooseok really had nothing to do after school. Which is why he found himself walking up the steps to the classroom the games club was being held in. When he entered the room he found a group of students playing various board games. In the corner of the room he found Shinwon, playing solitaire while humming a sombre tune. When Wooseok eventually took a chair opposite him, he looked up from his game and flashed a smile at the younger student.

“Wooseok! I didn’t think you’d actually come!” There was a slightly hurt tone in Shinwon’s voice.

“I had nothing else to do today, so I decided to pop in.”  _ Technically, this wasn’t a lie. _

“Oh, cool.” There was an awkward silence, as Shinwon never expected to get this far.

Wooseok decided to take the initiative. “So, what game are you playing?”

“Kings in the Corners. It’s a variant of Solitaire.” Shinwon decided to end his game early and reshuffle the cards.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that. I could’ve waited for you to finish your game.”

“No, its okay. Let’s play something together.” He grinned at Wooseok. “Any suggestions?”

“How’s about Rummy?”

“Why not Gin Rummy?”

“Sir, do I look like a mathematician?”

Shinwon cackled, attracting the attention of others in the room. “Okay, let’s play.”

The duo decided to get to know each other a little while they played their card game.

“So you’re in the year above right? What subjects are you taking?”

“I’m taking A Levels, so History, English, Politics, and German.”

Wooseok gasped. “You poor, poor soul. Why would you do that to yourself?”

“I just wanted the challenge.” Shinwon shrugged. “Also I happen to really enjoy these subjects, thank you very much.” He then set down a meld of 5s. “What about you, what subjects are you taking?”

“Well, aside for the compulsory ones, I’m taking Geography as a humanity, Japanese as a language, and IT and Business Studies as my other options.”

“You took Geography for the field trips, right?”

“Damn, was it that obvious?”

“Don’t worry, I took it for that same reason too.” Shinwon laid off a card. “Why aren’t you laying down anything?”

“I have my reasons. Anyway, is there anything you want to know about me? I can’t think of any questions suddenly.”

“Hmm, what music do you listen to?”   
“Well, my roots are in classical, but I’ve found myself listening to a lot of J-pop and anime music in recent years. Also since I’m a whiny emo bitch I listen to hard rock and metal daily.”

“Oh, so do I!” Shinwon’s eyes lit up. “What are your favourite bands?”

“BAND-MAID, Slayer, GOJIRA, Fleshgod Apocalypse–”

Shinwon’s eyes shot up. “Did you just say Fleshgod? Other fans exist!” He put down his cards. “Wait what’s your favourite song from them?”

“I have three:  _ In Aeternum, The Violation,  _ and  _ Pathfinder. _ ”

“Ooh, an intellectual. Although you forgot the gem that is  _ The Egoism.” _

“I knew I was missing something.” Wooseok laid down a meld and a run, effectively getting rid of all his cards on one turn. He looked at a shocked Shinwon with a smug grin on his face. “Gimme my Rummy bonus, bitch.”

They played a few more rounds until they got bored and decided to go and eat at a nearby restaurant. As they sat down with their curry orders, they ended up talking about the person who brought them together: Hyunggu.

“I think I now know why Hyunggu wanted so badly for us to be friends.” Wooseok started the conversation. “Like it’s crazy how much we have in common. We’re more alike than me and him.”

“Yeah that’s insane,” Shinwon laughed awkwardly. Speaking of Hyunggu, how did you guys become friends?”

It all started in Year 7. Now that I think about it, we’ve never had classes together… but anyway, he approached me on the first day of school since I was sitting by myself at lunchtime. He practically begged me to give him his phone number, and the rest is history I guess,”

“Oh wow, I’ve always wondered what it’s like to have a best friend for that long.”

“You’ve never had one?”

“It’s not that I’ve never had one, but that was when I was younger. I’m not really close enough with anyone to consider them as my best friend at this current moment in time.”

“What about your childhood best friend?”

Shinwon stared down at his food and bit his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from crying.

Wooseok rubbed Shinwon’s back. “Awh shit, did I say something wrong? You don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to.”

“No it’s okay.” The older student took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. “I’ll tell you.”

“His name was Hongseok. He was a year older than me and we grew up together. Since we lived next door to each other, our families were super close, like to the point where I’d call his parents Mum and Dad as well. Our families would celebrate Christmas, birthdays, all of that with each other. We really spent all of our time together, and it was nice.” Shinwon paused to gather himself. “So anyway, one day we’re playing in the woods near our house and he tells me that he’s going to move house. Six-year-old me was very upset by that, cause you know how young kids make those pacts to stay together forever? Yeah I took that news very badly. So obviously I get mad, call him a bunch of mean things including a traitor, and run back home to cry to my mum. Two hours later, my mum interrupts my nap to ask where Hongseok is, since apparently he wasn’t back home yet. I tell them where I left him and they go and search there and… “ His voice was getting shakier. “And they found his lifeless body there. Apparently he slipped on a rock and cracked his head open…”

“Oh shit, that’s grim.” Wooseok continued consoling his distressed friend. “You don’t have to continue–”

“No, I’ll finish what I’ve started.” Shinwon cut him off. “But it’s not even the way he died that is the worst part. It’s that during his last moments of his life, he was probably so upset that he lost his best friend, that he lost the person he cares about most, over something he couldn’t even control…” He was sobbing now, and Wooseok was also in tears. “He left this world alone… he probably hates me so much, seeing me moving on…”

“I… am so sorry that you had to go through that. “ Wooseok had pulled Shinwon into a hug. “I’m really shit at consoling people since I never learnt that social skill, sorry. Wait, what would Hyunggu say… oh! He would say that although what happened to you was very awful, you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. You were very young and you shouldn’t blame yourself for that. If Hongseok was truly your best friend, then he would forgive you and want you to move past this, as you deserve to be happy.”

“Wow, thanks for that Wooseok. You know, you should give yourself more credit. You’re better at comforting people than you think.”

“Nah, that’s all Hyunggu.”

After the heart-to-heart session over tonkatsu curry, Wooseok and Shinwon decided to part ways for the night. 

“Well today was eventful,” Shinwon looked up at the night sky. Despite the light pollution, a few stars could be seen, twinkling away.

“Yeah, I guess that’s one way of putting it.” Wooseok pulled out his phone.

“Watcha doing?”

“Even though I’m absolutely certain that they’re already home, I’m gonna message two of my friends to see if they’re still around. Also if you don’t mind… can I get your number?”

“Oh sure!” Wooseok handed over his phone to Shinwon. “Since we’re friends and all.”

“I’m actually so happy that Hyunggu brought us together, Shinwon. It’s weird but it’s as if I’ve known you my entire life.”

“Could it be…?”

“Are we…?”

“Soulmates?” They both said at the same time. There was then a three second pause before the two of them burst into laughter.

“Nah that’s too funny,” Wooseok was clutching his sides. “What kinda AU life would we be living!”

“Yeah, that’s too easy. Anyway it’s getting late so I’ll talk to you later, okay? Stay safe!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can we get an F in the chat for Hongseok  
Something something typos ty ty   
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	5. Rondo of Nightmare

The rest of the week went by quickly and suddenly it was the weekend. Wooseok decided to message Hyunggu that he wasn’t going to be able to go over to his house, as his habits at school had meant that he had a lot of work to catch up on. Hyunggu replied back that he has his own plans as well, and that he was going to be the one to tell Wooseok that they couldn't hang out. Then they laughed about how perfect the timing was. But it was okay though: since his parents were gone for the weekend (probably cheating on each other again), Wooseok decided to have a guest over.

The doorbell rang and Wooseok went over to answer the door.

“Yuto! Welcome to my humble abode!”

He was dressed in a white v-neck t-shirt and black cardigan. As Wooseok looked down, he could see that Yuto’s skinny jeans and trainers were also black, and his duffle bag was? You guessed it, black.

"Are you checking me out?" Yuto noticed that Wooseok had been looking at him for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"Oh wait, no, I don't swing that way. Anyways come in." Wooseok beckoned him inside.

When Yuto finally entered the house, his jaw dropped. 

“Dude, what kind of mansion do you live in??? I’m too poor for this.” 

“Yeah, whatever, let’s go to the kitchen. I’ll fix up something.”

Wooseok took out some tortilla chips and salsa from the cupboard. “Help yourself to this for now.”

“Thanks,” Yuto opened the packet. “So, what’s the plan for this weekend?”

“Hmm, so I thought we could do some Japanese work today, and then leave the Geography revision for tomorrow, is that okay with you?”

“Sounds good to me,” Yuto replied with a face full of chips. “So where are we working?”

“I’d say my room, but I haven’t cleaned it in a while, so how’s about in here? That way I don’t have to go far to get more food.”

“Aight, let me get my books out.”

As Wooseok was taking more items out of the cupboards, he caught Yuto staring into space.

“Yuto, are you good?”

“Bruh, what third-world country did your family exploit to have ceilings this high?”

“Well, both sets of grandparents are wealthy, and my parents both happen to be only children, so… yeah.”

“Damn, you’re so lucky!”

“You’d think so, but unfortunately Mum and Dad don’t know how to parent.” He brought the snack bowls over to where Yuto was sat down. “Anyways, let’s start revising, I guess.”

It took 20 minutes of explaining for Wooseok to finally understand the difference between the に and で particles. They then spent an hour revising time phrases and adverbs. Since nothing else was sticking in his head, Wooseok decided to take a break. He took out his phone and scrolled through his news feed.

“Sorry I’m the most annoying student ever.” He apologised to Yuto.

“Bruh, how many times do I have to tell you? I don’t find you annoying. Actually, it’s quite fun being the teacher for once.” He inched closer to Wooseok. “I mean, this power dynamic is kinda hot.”

“Miss me with that gay shit,” Wooseok playfully pushed him away.

“Oh, are you a homophobe?”

“Yuto, my best friend is gay.”

“That has the same energy as ‘I’m not racist I have a Black friend’ but okay.”

“ANYWAYS, you wanna smoke a cig? Since Dad’s not home I can raid his stash.”

Yuto put a hand on Wooseok’s shoulder. “Wooseok, my guy. Just because I may look like a delinquent, doesn’t mean I actually am one. I am a law-abiding citizen.”

“Wow, way to generalise all underage smokers.” Wooseok smirked. “You’re still gonna join me outside, though.”

The two friends sat outside on some garden chairs, admiring the scenery.

“Dude, why is your flower bed so nice? This is the prettiest garden I’ve ever sat in.”

“I dunno, my mum just chucks money at it.” Wooseok coughed a little from the smoke.

“Whew chile, the opulence.” Yuto took a sip from the can of sparkling water he was holding. He then took out his phone and scrolled through his social media. After a few minutes, Wooseok broke the silence.

“Oh, yeah there’s something I’ve been wondering. How come you were so quick to confirm plans, like don’t you have parties to attend, or something?”

“How bold of you to assume I have a social life.” Yuto took another sip. “I just sleep my weekends away, mostly. Thanks for getting me out of the house, I guess.”

“No problem, I needed some company.”

“What about your bestie?”

“Ah, Hyunggu? He has other plans.”   
“Oh, so that’s his name! He’s in my Science classes, you know.”

“I figured. But yeah, he’s off doing something. I don’t know any details.”

“Plot twist, he has a new best friend and he’s going to ditch you soon.”   
“That couldn't happen, he approached me first. Although he has been getting buddy-buddy with Shinwon lately…"

“Nah, it’s just bants. It’s not that deep, I promise.”

“I hope you're right, cause I’m getting paranoid now.” Wooseok took one long final drag of his cigarette before stumping it out. “Let’s go back in now."

Yuto looked at the clock on the wall as they were going back in. “Damn, it’s getting late already. Let’s eat.”

“Well I never cook without Jinho supervising me, so delivery it is.”

“Wait, who’s Jinho?”   
“Oh, my bad, I forget you don’t know people. He’s Hyunggu’s older brother, but he’s basically mine as well.”

“Ah, I see. Anyways I’m craving Greek food, is that okay?”

The food came half an hour later. They agreed on moving to the living room so they could have some background noise while they ate. As Wooseok returned to the living room with some plates and cutlery, Yuto had a suggestion.

“How’s about we get to know each other more? I mean, we say we’re friends, but I don’t think I know that much about you, and I guess you think the same about me.”

“Well luckily for you, I’m in the mood to overshare.” He sat down on the sofa with Yuto after placing the dishes on the coffee table with the food. “Let’s do this before I regret everything.”

“As for the people in my life,” Wooseok started. “So obviously you know about my parents. Hyunggu has been my best friend since Year 7. Even after… never mind, it isn’t my place to talk about that. Anyway his older brother is called Jinho and he’s basically my brother as well. He left our school last year.” He paused to eat some bread. “Are you following so far?”

“Your best friend is Hyunggu in my Science classes, and his brother who is basically your brother as well is called Jinho. So far, yeah.” Yuto gave a thumbs up.

“Okay, continuing on. Now my brother’s closest friends are called Hwitaek and Hyojong. They grew up together with Hyunggu and Jinho. They’re in Year 13. I’m friends with them as well, but it’s more of a kouhai/senpai relationship.”

“Friggin weeb, just say senior/junior.”

“Well I’m practising Japanese so stfu.” Wooseok forced a lettuce leaf into Yuto’s mouth to silence him. “As I was saying, my friendship with Hwitaek and Hyojong is more of a  _ kouhai/senpai _ dynamic, so I mostly talk to them about life advice and all of that jazz. They’re my main friendship circle. I guess there’s also Shinwon, he’s a recent friend I made. Except I was basically forced to become friends with him because of Hyunggu.”

“Ah, Shinwon! He’s the one your bestie is hanging out with instead of you, right?”

“It was never confirmed.”

“Well let’s confirm it right now. Call him.”

“Later. Let’s eat first.”

The two boys continued to eat in the now tense atmosphere. Wooseok didn’t pay attention to Yuto’s dry commentary of the football match that was airing; his only thought was that of his best friend potentially choosing to spend his weekend with Shinwon instead of him. But it shouldn't bother him that much.  _ There have been other times when Hyunggu has chosen to socialise with other friends, like he has other friendship circles. So why is it so upsetting that he's supposedly with Shinwon? Is it because we're all friends? At least, I thought that was Hyunggu's aim. So then why have I been excluded? Oh my god, I'm about to be replaced- _

Yuto tapped on Wooseok's shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts. "All done. Now let's make that phone call."

Wooseok took a deep breath as he clicked on Hyunggu's name in his contact list. As he put the call on speaker, he reached for Yuto's hand and squeezed it. "Let's hope you're wrong."

The call connected.

"Hyunggu, are you there?"

_ "Wooseok? Yeah what's up?" _

"Are you free to talk right now?"

" _ ..." _

"Hyunggu?"

_ "... Wait I'm still here, it's just… I'm sorta busy right now…" _

"Oh, what are you doing?"

_ "Stuff… Shinwon stop! I'm on the phone!" _

"Who's there?"

_ "No one! Anyway I'll call you later, okay?" _

"There's no need. Have a nice night-"

The call was cut abruptly. Yuto's mouth was wide open, as he tried to comprehend what just happened.

“Yuto, I’m starting to regret everything.”

\---------------------

After Wooseok came back from having another cigarette, the two boys tried to process the information they found out.

“So,” Yuto started bullet-pointing on his phone’s memo. “Let’s start with the facts. We know for certain that Hyunggu is with Shinwon at this current moment in time. He doesn’t know any other Shinwon’s right?”

“Not that I know of?” Wooseok scratched his head.

“Okay, this could mean many things. One: they are just simply hanging out  _ as friends _ , without you.”

“See, that makes no sense, because why would they exclude me? We’ve hung out as a trio before in school, so what makes this time any different? Are they conspiring against me or something?”

“Okay option two-”

“Before you carry on, why are you so invested in this?”

“I'm a messy bitch who lives for drama. Anyways option two: there's  _ something _ between them.” Yuto wiggled his eyebrows.

“Something? What do you mean, something?”

“Don't act dense, you know what I mean. Now the question is: how long has this been a thing, and how far along are they? Is this a ‘new love, limited to hand holding only’ thing, or is it a ‘gotta change the sheets every time they meet’ type thing?”

Wooseok pinched his nose bridge and furrowed his brows. “Yuto, I'd like to not think about my best friend in that way, thanks.”

“Lol weakling, anyway can you think of any other potential options?”

“They're planning a surprise party for me?”

“Do you have anything to celebrate?”

“No…”

“Then okay. I'm not sure how to tell you this but the most likely outcome is that they're fucking each other brains-”

“And we will stop there, thank you very much for your service!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do any of y'all want to punch Yuto right now, cause I do  
As always, I've proofread this but if I could be notified of any spelling/punctuation errors, that would be great ty ty  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	6. Play

Wooseok sat by himself in the coffee shop, twiddling his thumbs. Usually around this time Hyunggu would be giving him his pep talk to start the week, but he texted Wooseok the night before saying that he had things to do and so he'd be going into school early. It was okay though, it wasn't like this was the first time this situation has happened.  _ Oh wait _ .

As for the events of two days ago, Yuto decided not to mention it again as Wooseok was visibly distressed by the revelations. The next day, they actually did their Geography revision as promised, and now the duo were more or less prepared for whatever questions may come their way in the exam. Yuto left as soon as they were done, since Wooseok wasn't in the mood to socialise.

But he wasn’t going to spend his morning alone. After Hyunggu cancelled on him, he messaged someone else to meet up with him instead, and that person was entering the coffee shop now.

“Hey, buddy!”

“Hyojong, thanks for coming.”

He pulled up a chair and sat opposite Wooseok. “So, why am I here? You didn’t tell me anything on the phone.”

“Do you not want to eat something first? I’ll even pay.”

“Nah, it’s fine, I ate before I came. Now, what’s going on?”

Wooseok took a deep breath before he began. “So, last Saturday, as in two days ago, I message Hyunggu telling him that I can’t go over to his because I have catch-up work to do. He messages back that it’s okay, since he has plans as well, except he never told me what those plans were. But it’s whatever. Oh yeah, I invited a friend over as well because we both had Japanese and Geography revision that needed doing, but anyway, we got sidetracked when we took a break and…”

“And?”

“My friend may have pressured me into calling Hyunggu to ask what he was doing.” He buried his head in his hands and let out a groan of regret. 

“I can lowkey see where this is going, but continue.” Hyojong leaned closer to Wooseok, intrigued by his friend’s dilemma.

“So we call him and he seems occupied. Then we hear him mention Shinwon and then he quickly ends the call.”

“Okay, maybe not. Also, who’s Shinwon?”

“Wait, you don’t know who Shinwon is? I thought Hyunggu would’ve mentioned him to you by now.”

“Nope. So who is he?”

“He says he’s a friend, but that leads me onto my next point. So me and this friend did some brainstorming to try and understand the significance of that phone call. And we came to the conclusion that they might be dating.”

Hyojong blinked twice. “Well, that was an escalation.”

“So here’s where you come in. I may need some… advice. Where do I go from here?” 

Hyojong furrowed his eyebrows. “So let me get this straight. Hyunggu not telling you about his weekend plans combined with finding out through a phone call that he's with someone else has led you to believe that they're… dating? Honestly, I'm not convinced. I need more evidence, to tell you the truth.”

“So what you're saying is I have to basically get him to confess before I take this further.”

“Your words, not mine. I mean, if I found out that Hwitaek was withholding information like that from me, I would wait until he told me himself. I mean, maybe he’s waiting for the right timing?" He shrugged.

"But we tell each other everything, I don't like it when people keep stuff from me."

"I wouldn't do what you're about to do, but to each his own." He looked at the watch on his wrist. "Well, I need to meet up with Hwitaek, so I'll be leaving first. Keep me posted, yeah?" He stood up and got ready to leave.

“Will do." Wooseok also got up and hugged his friend goodbye. "Also let’s keep this conversation between us, don’t even tell Hwitaek. Cause he’ll tell Jinho who’ll tell Hyunggu.”

“You have my word. See you later."

As Wooseok sat in his first class of the day, he was thinking about what Hyojong said. Was he really entitled to know what his friend was up to? Sure, he and Hyunggu were best friends, but was he overstepping his boundaries? But the more Hyunggu avoided the topic, the more Wooseok felt that he needed to know. He just needed to know if two of his friends were dating, and that isn't particularly sensitive information. It definitely didn't warrant the behaviour of Hyunggu last Saturday.

Eventually it was time for his next class, which was Geography. As he was walking up to the classroom door he awkwardly met Yuto, who was coming from the opposite direction. They locked eyes for a moment, until Wooseok silently gestured at Yuto to enter the classroom first. He watched him take his seat in class and then entered himself, sitting down his seat directly behind Yuto.

They were doing independent study when Yuto leaned back in his chair.

"Yeah I need to do this before it eats at me. So uh," He scratched the back of his neck. "I'd like to apologise for my actions this weekend. I admit that I may have pushed too hard, and I'm sorry that I put you in such an awkward position."

Wooseok sighed as he relived the events of the weekend. "It's all good Yuto, it's not your fault. If anything, I should be thanking you for opening my eyes a little."

"Is that so?" He turned his chair around, fully facing Wooseok. "What's your next move then?"

Wooseok pursed his lips momentarily. "That's the thing, I really don't know. I met up with Hyojong briefly before school and he told me that I need to get more information out of him before I swoop in. But how do I go about that?"

"Well, you haven't seen him since Friday, right? Just ask him about what he did during the weekend. If he's still being vague, then it's safe to assume they're an item, I'd say."

  
  


Soon lunchtime rolled around, and Hyunggu texted Wooseok that he had already claimed a table in the canteen. Wooseok was still undecided about whether or not it was the right thing to press Hyunggu for answers, but he needed to satisfy his curiosity. As he walked up to the table, he could see that Hyunggu was eating an egg and cress sandwich.

"Wooseok! I know it's only been since Friday, but I haven't seen you in ages!" He grabbed his friend's hands and played with them. "I really missed you, you know?"

"Uh, same?" Wooseok wasn't really sure how to react to this. He had psyched himself up to just start the enquiry straight away, but this was nice. Having Hyunggu with him again was comfortable. This familiar feeling put him at ease. He was about it give up on it all until he remembered.  _ Wait, I still need an explanation for that phone call.  _

"Um, Wooseok are you okay? You're doing the deep thought thing again." Hyunggu cocked his head to one side and pouted.  _ Fuck me, he's adorable. _

"Yeah, I'm just thinking about this weekend."

"So what were you doing while I was away?"

_ He said away, so he wasn't at home. Good to know.  _ "Well, like I said, I invited a classmate over, and we revised Japanese and Geography together. It was Yuto."

"Oh that's cool. So how was that? I swear he's the first friend since me that you've invited home."

"It was fine for the most part. I mean, there have been friends before you, and there'll be friends after you, you don't have to worry too much."

"After me? So you're planning to get rid of me? Thanks for the heads up, I guess."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Relax, I'm joking. Anyway, I'm glad you didn't miss me too much." Hyunggu picked up his milk carton and started drinking it.

"So what did you do during the weekend then? And what was that phone call about?"  _ Smooth. _

Suddenly Hyunggu started choking on his milk. Wooseok rushed to his aid, patting his back and providing him with napkins. After a few minutes he calmed down.

"Damn Hyunggu, I didn't realise that was a bold question to ask. Are you okay though?"

"Yeah yeah, it just caught me off guard."

"Definitely not suspicious at all." He muttered under his breath. "So anyway, what did you do?"

"I went over to a friends house and we hung out."

"Didn't you mention Shinwon during that call? He was there as well, wasn't he?"

"Okay, so it was Shinwon's house, you got me there."

"Any specifics as to the activities you were doing, or are you gonna leave me in the dark?"

"Sorry Wooseok, it's a secret." His alarm on his phone went off, and Wooseok noticed that it was his favourite anime opening.  _ This sweet bastard… _

"What's the alarm for?"

"Oh, I have a club meeting to attend. I guess I should get going." He started packing up his lunch. "You're coming over today, right?"

"Yep, I guess I'll catch you later. But I can't walk with you today, I have catch-up Physics sessions to attend."

"Awh, look at you caring about your compulsory subjects, that's character development." Hyunggu playfully pinched Wooseok's cheek. "I'll catch you later, yeah?"

\------------------------

So that Physics session was a lie.

Instead he was meeting Hyojong and Yuto at a coffee shop near the school so that he can report his findings and receive help with his next move.

As he entered, he saw that Hyojong was already there and had secured a table. They greeted each other as Wooseok sat down.

"Spill."

"Not yet, another person has decided to join us last-minute. He's on his way."

A few minutes later, Yuto came through the door and made his way to their table.

"Yuto, Hyojong. Hyojong, Yuto." Wooseok briefly introduced his friends to each other."

"Ah, so you're the guy who replaced me." Hyojong shook Yuto's hand. "初めまして."

"Huh, what do you mean by replaced?" Yuto looked over at Wooseok for an answer.

"Oh wait, you don't know, do you? Hyojong was helping me with my Japanese work before you, albeit for a short time."

"But guys, this isn't important." Hyojong clasped his hands together. "Wooseok, spill already."

"Okay, but let's order something first, we'll be here a while."

  
  


The trio sat down again with their orders: Yuto got a can of sparkling water and multiple packs of corn cakes; Wooseok opted for an almond croissant, a slice of carrot cake and two lattes; and Hyojong decided on a packet of salted crisps, a salmon and cream cheese sandwich, and a cup of black tea.

"In hindsight, maybe we should have gone to a restaurant instead."

Hyojong was growing impatient. "Well, it's too late now. Now stop stalling and spill already, my crops are dying." 

  
  


Wooseok told the other two about how Hyunggu basically admitted that he spent the weekend at Shinwon’s place, but then he left before he could ask any further questions.

“So, Yuto,” Hyojong turned to face his new acquaintance. “What do make you of all this?”

“They’re dating.” Yuto said, matter-of-factly.

“You see, I didn’t want to be the one to say that. Yeah they’re a  _ thing _ .” Hyojong started getting all giddy. “Ah, why am I so invested in lower year drama?”

“I was gonna say something.” Yuto started. “Don’t you have, like, exam practice and coursework to do, like why are you even here?”

“I need a break from the monotony of it all.” Suddenly his eyes got bigger. “Wooseok, you're gonna hate me for this, but I have a suggestion.”

“I think at this current moment in time, it’s impossible for me to hate you even more than I currently do.”

“This is all about Shinwon, right? So why don’t you call him and ask? Let’s assume that they are dating and ask him about it?”

“Hyojong you fucking genius.” Yuto held Hyojong’s hands in his own. “I’ve only known you for about 20 minutes but would you accept my hand in marriage?”

“Haha, no my heart belongs to Hwitaek and Hwitaek only. But yeah Wooseok, make that call since we're all here.”

Thankfully the coffee shop wasn’t that busy when Wooseok put the call on speaker. After 4 rings, the call connected.

“Yo Shinwon, you there?”

_ “Oh hi Wooseok, long time no talk! You okay?” _

“Yeah, I didn’t see you at school today so I just called to see how you are.” Wooseok could see Hyojong and Yuto in the corner of his eye gesturing at him to move the conversation along to what really mattered. “Also I have a question, is that okay with you?”

_ “Sure! Go ahead and ask away hahaha.” _

“So you know how you and Hyunggu are dating, right?”

_ “Oh, so he told you already? I thought we were going to reveal that later on.” _

Yuto and Hyojong snorted simultaneously, but Wooseok kept it together for the sake of the phone call. “Well, obviously he couldn’t keep it a secret from me for too long, I’m his best friend, after all. But anyway, does that mean you’ll be stealing him away from me?”

_ “What? Of course, no! I mean, we’ll make time for each other, but you don’t have to worry about a thing. Maybe we’ll be seeing each other a lot more outside of school, but we’re already friends, so that shouldn’t be an issue, right?” _ _   
_ “Yeah, it’s all good.” Wooseok’s eye started twitching. “But um, I kinda have to go now, but I’ll call you later alright? Bye bye!”

_ “Okay, then talk to you later and have a good evening Wooseok.” _

The call ended. Hyojong and Yuto immediately started cracking up.

“Oh my God, are you kidding me? It was that easy?” Yuto was trying to make sense of what just happened. “Hyojong honestly, I bow down to you.”   
“Nah, I don’t think you understand how much this is giving me life right now.” Hyojong was almost in tears. “Oh my fucking God I want to scream right now."

“Just a reminder that we're in a public place.” They turned to face Wooseok, who was deadpan. He then picked up one of his lattes and got up from his chair. “You guys can have the rest, I’m leaving first.”

  
Wooseok walked away from the coffee shop feeling very conflicted. He had gotten the confirmation he needed, but for some reason he didn’t feel as pleased as he thought he would. Was it because he was guilty that he tricked Shinwon into believing that Hyunggu had been the one to tell him?  _ Yeah, let’s believe that’s the reason for now. _ Since he didn’t know whether Shinwon would tell Hyunggu about the phone call, he decided to go home instead of to Hyunggu’s. After all, receiving an earful from his parents would be less awkward than having to explain himself to Hyunggu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Shinwon, I just wanna give him a hug :(
> 
> Anyways, something something reports  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	7. Screaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all apologies for the long wait, writers block + real life can really suck  
Anyways, enjoy this slightly longer chapter~

Wooseok had enough.

This time it was because he had barely gotten any sleep. Last night, what started as a tasteless joke escalated into a screaming match between his parents. And what better time than at 2 in the morning? After spending close to 20 seconds trying to turn off the alarm, he rolled out of bed and mustered the strength to drag himself to the bathroom. As he ran the tap in the shower, he thought about today’s timetable._ First period is Japanese; then English;_ _double Maths; Chemistry and Biology to end the day. Plus a Hyunggu confrontation thrown in somewhere._

Wooseok started feeling tightness in his chest. He really hated the idea of confronting people, and so he often relied on other people to fight his battles for him, namely Hyunggu and Jinho. He didn’t want to have to talk to Hyunggu about his relationship with Shinwon, but he knew that he couldn’t delay it any further. He really needed to know why Hyunggu had kept it from him and he didn’t think Shinwon would be able to tell him, so Hyunggu it was. 

After he finished washing and getting changed into his uniform he went into his father’s study. Both of his parents had already left for work, so he didn’t have to worry about getting caught stealing cigarettes. He opened one of the side drawers of the desk and found the lighter graveyard. After eventually finding a few that still worked, he picked up the cigarette pack that was on the desk and made his way to the garden.

As he lit the first stick, Wooseok took out his phone to look for any notifications. Hyojong sent a few cursed memes and Yuto had sent a good luck text for today. His heart stopped when he saw a message from Hyunggu, expecting it to be about yesterday’s shenanigans, but he let out a sigh of relief when it turned out to be Hyunggu cancelling the morning coffee shop meetup due to blood sugar problems. He sent back a get well soon message before placing his phone back in his pocket. Wooseok then took a long drag out the cigarette and closed his eyes to try and calm his nerves. He had managed to avoid seeing Hyunggu before school, but there was still the possibility of seeing him at breaktime, and he was definitely going to see him at lunch, so the situation hadn’t been entirely avoided. He contemplated not going to school, but he had already gotten up early so he might as well. Plus, he had a Japanese test that he revised really hard for and he didn’t want it to go to waste. As he exhaled, he thought about how he really shouldn’t be smoking right now since Hyunggu had continually pleaded that he cut down for the sake of his health. He loved Hyunggu dearly, but he really needed to destress. His mind switched to the thought of smoking the entire pack he had in his pocket so that his organs could shut down and he’d die without having to talk to Hyunggu, but he knew that that’s not how it works. Besides, one of his grandparents is a chain smoker, yet they have the vitality to go on monthly hikes in the mountains. Funny how the world worked.

As he went back inside after his smoking session, Wooseok took a glance at the clock and saw that he had plenty of time before school, especially since he didn’t have to go to the coffee shop anymore. He decided to walk to school, since the sky was clear and he could listen to his playlists for longer. He took one of his father’s perfume bottles and masked the cigarette smell before grabbing his school bag and leaving the house.

\------------------

Wooseok was sat in his Japanese class, scrolling through his news feed waiting for his teacher to show up. His phone pinged as Hyunggu sent him a message telling him that he was finally in school. Wooseok replied with an ‘Am I seeing you at break or lunch then?’ to which Hyunggu sent ‘lunchtime it is~ meet me on the field~’. Wooseok was going to send another message back, but then his Japanese teacher walked in holding a wad of sheets.

“Good morning class, sorry I'm late, I was printing out the test papers. Anyway, let’s start straight away.”

The good news was that his revision paid off and he was able to continue his streak of getting more than 50% in a test. The bad news was that he had lost track of time and suddenly he was in his second period of Maths with 15 minutes left till lunchtime. His heart sank as he realised that meant there was 15 minutes left till he had to face Hyunggu. He closed his eyes for a little too long, and suddenly the bell rang. Wooseok’s heart started racing as he packed his books away and made his way to the school field. He squinted for a bit as he tried to locate him, until he saw him, taking out a picnic blanket and placing it on the grass.

“Wow, you really brought a picnic blanket with you to school, huh?” Wooseok scoffed.

Hyunggu shot him an annoyed look before softening his face. “Well, I wanted to lie down and I didn't fancy getting grass in my hair this time.” He sat down and patted the area of blanket next to him. “Come, sit.”

Wooseok went over and sat next to Hyunggu, opening his lunch box. Hyunggu then leaned over and rested his head on Wooseok's shoulder. Hyunggu then let out a huge sigh that he didn't even know he was holding. 

Wooseok raised an eyebrow. “Is everything okay?”

“Do you just think about how being diabetic sucks?”

“Well not really, but I can imagine why you would think so.”

“It's just, I work so hard to keep my sugar levels intact, but then my body's just like screw you, lemme randomly just give you a spike or let your blood sugar drop to the point where you can't even get out of bed. I'm actually over it.” He stopped leaning on Wooseok and layed down on the blanket. “I envy you so much, you know. You don't have to put in all this work to replace an organ that doesn't do its job.” He covered his face and let out a loud groan.

Wooseok wasn't sure of what to say after that. Luckily for him, Hyunggu had read his mind.

“It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I'm just venting.”

Wooseok scratched his head and frowned. “So what was the problem this morning?”

“I woke up to an extremely high blood sugar. Just cortisol things, I guess.”

“Damn that sucks.”

“That's not even the end of it. I have no idea how, but I overcompensated and gave myself too much insulin, and my blood sugar plummeted. So yeah, I'm not particularly hungry since I had to raid the fridge and cupboards.”

“I'm glad you're okay now, though.” Wooseok laid down next to Hyunggu and started playing with his hair. “Does that mean I can join you and Jinho on a trip to restock the kitchen?”

Hyunggu playfully kicked Wooseok's shin. “Piss off, I didn't eat that much!” He then shifted his body to face Wooseok. “Anyway enough diabetes talk, it's depressing. What's been going on with you?”

Wooseok paused for a moment as he tried to avoid talking about  _ the thing _ . “Nothing as of recent. I mean, I guess Geography is more enjoyable now that I have Yuto, but nothing's really changed. Mum and Dad aren't around as much, so I've just been by myself, revising and overthinking.”

“That's too bad.” Hyunggu started poking Wooseok's cheeks. “Why don't you come over today? Jinho's going over to Hwitaek's house, so it'll be us two.”

“Sounds good to me, it's not like I have any other plans.”

Hyunggu sat up and clasped his hands. “Then it's sorted. I'll meet you at the school gates.”

\---------------

  
  


The rest of the day passed by fairly quickly and eventually Wooseok found himself waiting at the school gates for Hyunggu. The nice weather from earlier in the day had gone, and now thick clouds were invading the sky. After a few more minutes of waiting, Hyunggu arrived, wearing his P.E kit. His hair was damp with sweat and there were further beads of sweat along his forehead.

“Yeah I know I'm sweaty and gross, but I didn't want to make you wait any longer.” Hyunggu had read Wooseok's slightly disgusted facial expression. “Anyway let's get going, I need to wash.”

The walk back to Hyunggu's place was pleasant. Hyunggu talked about his P.E class and how they were playing cricket. His team was made up of people who were members of the school's cricket club, so they ended up decimating the opposing team. As he was describing each round, Wooseok tuned him out and cast his mind back to lunchtime and his failure to ask Hyunggu about his relationship with Shinwon. He decided that he wasn't going to chicken out this time, that no matter how much his tummy was going to flip out, he was going to ask.

“...and the ball ended up making it to where the English block was!” Hyunggu beamed in amazement of his teammates' actions.

Wooseok brought his attention back to his best friend. “With the way you're talking, you'd think you were the batter.”

Hyunggu pouted. “But it was so cool! You had to be there to see it. Anyway, lemme open the door.”

Wooseok didn't even realise that he had zoned out for that long. They were already at Hyunggu's. Hyunggu rushed upstairs. “I'm gonna hop in the shower real quick. Feel free to take stuff from the kitchen, you know where everything is.”

“Is there even anything left to eat?” Wooseok joked.

“Shut.” Wooseok could imagine Hyunggu rolling his eyes.

After Hyunggu got changed, the duo settled down on the sofa, Hyunggu resting his head on Wooseok’s lap. He pulled up his phone and started scrolling.

“Whatcha doing?” Wooseok leaned over so he could see his screen.

“I don't want to eat the leftovers in the fridge, so I'm ordering something on Jinho’s card. Is pizza okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” Wooseok reached for the TV remote to put on some background noise.

\-------------

After dinner, the duo remained in the living room, cuddling on the sofa while a random soap drama was playing on the TV. They had unwillingly gotten invested in the storyline, and now they were annoyed at the main character's actions.

“This guy pisses me off so much!” Hyunggu moaned. “I mean, why would you hide from your brother that his girlfriend tried to make moves on you?”

“Yeah,” Wooseok nodded. “What happened to bros before hoes? In this case, they're actual brothers. Make it make sense.”

“Yo,” Hyunggu got up. “What if… he's not saying anything back because he's planning on hooking up with the girlfriend?”

Wooseok raised an eyebrow. “That would be messed up.”

“Guess we're watching the next episode then.” Hyunggu took the remote from Wooseok. “Imma check how many episodes are available on catch-up, I need more context.”

“Yeah, while you do that, imma pee real quick, be right back.”

In the bathroom, Wooseok ran his hands under the tap and splashed his face with water. After a few deep breaths he stared at himself in the mirror. He knew that he had been conveniently ignoring that he still needed to ask Hyunggu about  _ the thing _ , and he had been letting himself get distracted. He patted his stomach lightly, as without realising earlier his stress-induced cramps had started. But he wasn't going to let this get in the way of the answers he so desperately needed. After psyching himself up with some statements of self-affirmation, he made his way downstairs to where his best friend was, completely oblivious to what was about to go down.

“Damn, you were in there for a while,” Hyunggu turned to his friend who was entering the room. “Anyway, we're still able to watch 3 previous episodes of that show.”

“Hmm.” Wooseok's fist tightened as he tried to fight his nerves. “Speaking of that show, I think it's funny how you were angry at that guy, as if you're not hiding a secret yourself.”

"Seems fake, but okay.” Hyunggu turned his attention back to the TV.

“I know you're dating Shinwon.”

Hyunggu's face scrunched up slightly as he muttered some expletives to himself. “Do I even want to know how you found out?” he was finally able to say.

“Okay but before we talk,” Wooseok sat down next to his friend who was cringing internally. “I just wanna lay down a ground rule. Let's agree that saying your point more loudly doesn't make it any more right. Trying to avoid arguments here.”

“Sure, but that shouldn't happen anyway, right?” Hyunggu held one of Wooseok's hands. "Now, how'd you find out?”

“It was Shinwon." Wooseok sighed. "But don't get mad at him.”

“Shinwon??? But he promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone!”

“Well, he told me accidentally. Kinda.” Wooseok started playing with the hem of his blazer. He realised that he had made his bed, and now it was time to lie in it.

“How do you accidentally tell someone?” Hyunggu was getting slightly heated.

“So, uh, I had my suspicions, and I called him, and the way I posed the question implied that I knew you guys were dating, and he didn't deny it, and… yeah.” Wooseok's guilt had started to eat at him. Shinwon was too nice of a person to be tricked like that.

“That's weird, he didn't mention anything about that when we talked yesterday.” He started playing with his chin. “We're gonna have to have a little conversation later–”

“So are you gonna tell me how long you've been a thing now?” Wooseok blurted out. He locked eyes with his best friend for the first time since the conversation started. The adrenaline is his system had started to make him a little more bold.

Hyunggu raised a finger. “Watch your tone of voice.”

“Well I can't help it, I'm feeling kinda pissed off right now. I mean, when you had to find out about your best friend dating through someone else, it gets to you.” Wooseok got up and moved to the other sofa.

“Remember that raising your voice doesn't make you any more right.” Hyunggu reminded Wooseok of the rule he made himself.

“Damn Hyunggu, I'm used to you being somewhat patronising, but now you're being straight up condescending.” He stared him down. “Now. How long?”

“Since the beginning of the year.” He looked down at the ground.

Wooseok finally lost it. “That long?! And you hid it from me?! You know, I thought that it had only been a few weeks, which would make it somewhat excusable, but it's been months!”

“We were going to tell you eventually! Plus, you don't have to know everything that happens in my life.”

“Yeah, I mean sure I don't have to know about how often you go to the toilet, or what you had for dinner yesterday, but we're talking about your first serious relationship here!” Wooseok was fighting back tears. “Hyunggu, I'm your best friend! I'm not just some random acquaintance in one of your classes!”

Wooseok got up and paced around to contain his anger. Hyunggu kept quiet, as he knew he had messed up. After a while, Wooseok finally sat back down.

“Who else knows?”

“Jinho, Hwitaek.”

Wooseok scoffed. “Jinho I understand, but Hwitaek, really? And you couldn't tell me?”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Hyunggu was getting even more angry. “I've known him longer than I've known you, in case you forgot.”

“Okay, that wasn't needed.” Wooseok rubbed his temples. “I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me. Am I your parent? Are you scared of me?”

“Well not of you, just your reaction.”

“My reaction?” Wooseok let out a chuckle of frustration. “Hyunggu, my guy. I may not be gay myself, but on that day when you did… the thing…”

“When I kissed you, yeah.” He locked eyes with Wooseok.

“Did I not make it clear that I'd support you no matter what?”

“Not scared in that way, I know you're not a homophobe. I meant like, in a friendship dynamic way.”

“I'm not following.” Wooseok furrowed his brow.

“Well, you know how it's only you as my top priority, I didn't know how you'd feel if suddenly there was this other person I'd divert my attention to. I mean, you're pretty high maintenance.”

Wooseok's eyes widened in disbelief. “Did you just say high maintenance? Wow Hyunggu, that's low.”

“I mean, I didn't lie. Look at how you're reacting now that you know me and Shinwon are together.”

Wooseok dragged his hands down his face and groaned. “You are so wrong. I'm not angry because you're dating Shinwon. I'm angry because you felt the need to hide that you're dating from your best friend. I'm supposed to be one of the first people you tell! If you had actually done that, I probably would have just said ‘oh, okay congrats’, and I would have left it at that. But you kept this from me!” He needed to get up again. “Oh and about my supposed high maintenance-ness, haven't I always told you to tell me if my behaviour is a problem?”

“Well, I'm telling you now!” Hyunggu got up as well. “How was I supposed to tell you before? I mean, when I'm with you, it's like I'm constantly navigating a minefield. Now, let's say I do tell you that your behaviour is an issue. Who's to say you won't drink yourself to death or overdose on pills?! Or do something else that'll put your life in danger?!”

“You think I'm  _ that _ unstable, huh?! I'm tired of people pretending they know me!”

“But we  _ do _ know you, Wooseok! We know you well enough to know that you're a mess!”

“Oh, you think I don't know that already?!” Wooseok towered over Hyunggu. “Since we're being honest right now, is there anything else you want to say to me?”

“No…” A lone tear started travelling down Hyunggu's cheek.

“Okay, then it's good that you managed to get everything off your chest.” Wooseok walked over to the entrance and put his shoes on. He then picked up his bag and opened the front door. “Oh, and tell Shinwon I said hi.” He slammed the door as he made his exit.

\-------------

He didn't know where he was going, but he knew that he needed to get away. As he was walking, he spotted a newsagents that was still open and bought himself some ice cream lollies. Even though it was too cold at this time of night, he needed some kind of comfort food. After he walked some more, he found himself at a playground. Since he had no where else to go, he decided to stay a while, and so he headed to the swing set.

Wooseok opened his phone to try to take his mind off what had happened. He saw two messages: one from his father and one from Hyunggu. He swiped away the message from Hyunggu, as he didn't want to deal with it right now, and opened the one from his father.

**From: ヘビちゃん**

I won't be home. Go to Jinho's tonight.

He sighed, and turned off his phone screen, placing his phone in his pocket. Going back to Hyunggu was the last thing he wanted to do. As he took out the first ice cream lolly, he thought about his options of what to do. He wanted to vent to someone, and since Hyunggu and Shinwon were obviously off limits, that left Jinho, Hwitaek, Hyojong and Yuto.

But he couldn't talk the the older trio since they were technically part of Hyunggu's circle. So that left Yuto. He took out his phone and sent a ‘you free to talk?’ text to him. Yuto hadn't replied by the time he finished all his lollies, so he decided to leave it at that. He got up from the swing and decided to make his way back home. At least his parents wouldn't be there.

After dumping his belongings, Wooseok decided that he was going to spend the rest of the night drinking away his sorrows. Since neither of his parents were home, he could get away with stealing from his mother's alcohol cabinet. As he picked up a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass in the kitchen, he debated on whether to make a mixer with some cola, but ultimately decided against it since he wanted to get drunk as soon as possible. The sooner he could numb his feelings, the better. He headed to the garden, where he spent the rest of the night drowning his feelings in alcohol.

\------------------------

The next day, Wooseok woke up with a pain-splitting headache. He had no idea how he managed to make it into bed the night before, but it was apparent that he threw up at some point due to his vomit-stained pillow. He groaned and picked up his phone to check the time. 10:30 am. Unfortunately it wasn't the weekend, which meant that he had slept through his alarm. On his phone's lock screen he could see that he got many notifications from his parents, as well as Jinho, Hwitaek and Hyojong. With a sigh, he placed his phone down and sat up on his bed. He felt there was no point in going to school since he woke up late and he still felt shitty from yesterday. He did, however, fancy a store-bought sandwich for breakfast, and so he stripped out of his uniform and threw on a tracksuit and cap. He picked up his wallet and headed out to town.

One perk about his height was it meant that it was highly unlikely that he'd be stopped by truancy officers when he was out of his uniform. He was selecting some sandwiches from the food-to-go section in his local supermarket when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find Hyojong, dressed in a hoodie and slacks. His face was pink and puffy, his eyes bloodshot.

"Hyojong, you look awful, what happened? But also why are you not at school?"

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" His voice was barely audible over the background noise of the supermarket.

"I was gonna get round to everyone's messages eventually, I mean, I just woke up. What even happened?"

What came out of Hyojong's mouth next was shocking enough for Wooseok to drop the sandwiches he was holding.

"Hyunggu, he… he died last night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes part 1 of the AU~  
Okay I know I did Kino dirty but don't worry I will do a Kino-centred prequel at some point to make up for it  
Why does best boy have to die ffs  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	8. This Emptiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I died but then Dr BeBe revived me but then the Hui fancams sent me to my grave again but then I decided to finally push out this chapter after 234364632 years, sooo... have a nice jhs day update~

Wooseok had enough. He was surrounded by what seemed like a multitude of faces: some young and some old, some familiar and others not. All sharing a mutual sentiment. Grief. 

Since Hyojong broke the news to him, he had been aloof. It turned out that Hyunggu had a bad case of ketoacidosis, and with no one around to help him he eventually succumbed to his condition. Jinho found him unresponsive after returning from Hwitaek’s place the morning after, but by then it was too late. Ever since he found out, Wooseok had been holed up in his bedroom, refusing to acknowledge that his best friend had passed away. Even to the point where he didn’t attend the wake because then he would be forced to accept that he was gone.

But here he was in the funeral hall, sitting next to his parents. At the front, an aunt of the family was reading verses from poems that seemed suitable for the occasion. Wooseok took a quick look around to see if he could recognise any familiar faces. A few rows in front of him he could see the top of Jinho’s head, and in the corner of his eye he spotted Hwitaek and Hyojong seated next to each other, struggling to hold themselves together. Every attendant seemed to be full of sorrow, as every time the aunt paused her words, the faint sounds of sniffling and sobs could be heard. Even his father, who was otherwise devoid of emotion, had tears running down his cheeks. So why was he the only person unable to cry? Did it not quite hit him yet that his best friend was gone forever? Was he still processing his guilt? The only thought on his mind was how uncomfortable he felt and how badly he wanted to get away from the depressing air weighing on the room.

As the aunt was finishing her tribute, she called Jinho up to the front to take over. After a brief hug and an exchange of condolences, he made his way to the podium up at the front and prepared himself to give his eulogy. He took out the cue cards from his blazer pocket and took a deep breath.

“A little over 16 years ago, I was given a baby brother. I wish I could remember the exact day he was brought home, but I was only a two year-old, so…” Jinho forced a smile. “When I look at older pictures and videos though, I can really get a sense of how much I adored him. There’s usually a phase with siblings when the older one would get really annoyed by the younger one clinging on to them and copying their mannerisms and the like. But for me, I loved it. The idea that the brother I loved most in the world would look up to me just made me want to grow up faster, so that I could be a good role model for him. I remember in school I wouldn’t feel embarrassed if he would approach me in the playground, cause it meant that I could introduce him to my friends and show off the brother I was so proud of. If he was struggling with his homework, I would put my projects on hold so that I could attend to his needs first. When he lacked confidence in his extracurriculars, I’d give him that push he needed to thrive. Eventually when the day came when Hyunggu was able to stand on his own two feet, it was somewhat bittersweet, but I was moreso... contented that he grew up so well. He himself became someone who I, as well as others, could depend on.” As Jinho turned the cue card over, his jaw tightened.

“Hyunggu, the 16 years you spent on this earth have been the best years of my life. I really couldn’t have asked for a better sibling, and for that I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Heaven has gained another angel this week, and the world has become a dimmer place in return. Rest easy, baby bro.”

After finishing his speech, Jinho’s eyes welled up as he made his way back to his seat. His eyes met Wooseok’s and he gave him a signal that it was his turn to talk. Wooseok gave Jinho a reassuring pat on the shoulder as they crossed paths, and he made his way to the podium. After composing himself, he started to read his own cue cards.

“Okay, so… I'm going to keep this brief since I feel that everything that needs to be said has already been mentioned.” He cleared his throat. “I may have entered Hyunggu’s life a little later in the timeline than the majority of you, but I believe that everyone in this room can attest to the fact that Hyunggu was raised with a lot of love. Some might even say too much love.” He paused for a moment to gather himself. “It’s so funny, like when we first met I was so weirded out by how kind he was. I was thinking: does this guy have an ulterior motive or something, cause I’ve never seen anyone try so hard to befriend someone, especially someone you barely even know. Eventually I came to realise that Hyunggu didn't have a bad bone in his body. He’s just naturally that pure.” Wooseok took a deep breath and sighed deeply. He didn’t want to do this. He looked down at the cue cards and scrunched them into a ball. Fuck being formal, he was gonna speak from the heart.

“You know, I was envious of him for the longest time. Why couldn’t I be like him? Why couldn't I be the one with a loving family and a supportive network of friends? Why couldn't I be the one with good grades and popularity at school? I guess being with him just reminded me of everything I wasn't. I eventually got over my inferiority complex though, I mean Hyunggu wasn't someone who was deserving of hate. As I got to know him through the years I came to realise how incredible of a person he was. There are so many things I was only able to experience because I had Hyunggu in my life. It would be an understatement to say that he has been a real pillar for me. He was the reason I got up in the morning. He made me a better person and I am eternally grateful for that. I am truly indebted to him and I still feel like I am absolutely unworthy of his friendship. I mean, he had the choice of literally anyone to be best friends with, and he chose me.”

All of a sudden, the gravity of the situation hit Wooseok. He may have pretended for the last few days that Hyunggu was still okay, but this was now very real. He was dead, like  _ dead _ dead. As in, he was never going to see him again, and right now he was talking about a person who is no longer of this world. Wooseok looked up at the ceiling and tried to blink away the tears starting to form in his eyes, but it wasn’t working.

“I shouldn’t even be doing this speech right now. Maybe sixty, seventy years down the line, sure, but not right now. Hyunggu didn’t deserve to die, man.” He gripped on the podium for support as he was beginning to lose the strength in his legs. “What have I done? What the… actual fuck did I do? Why did I leave him that night?” he managed to articulate between sobs. He covered his mouth as he let out the ugliest wail.

Eventually it became all too much for him, and he found his legs making a break for the exit. As he took his first deep breaths outside, he made an attempt to process the myriad of thoughts entering his mind.  _ Hyunggu is gone now. There is no more Hyunggu. No more waiting after school. No more coffee shop dates. No more lunchtime hangouts. No more hugs and cuddles at his place. _ Wooseok found himself clutching at his chest, as if his heart would suddenly burst out of his body. Jinho also stepped outside following him. His cheeks were stained by tears and his bloodshot eyes were glassy. Despite his fragility, he went over to Wooseok and pulled him into a hug. "It's not your fault."

Those four words were enough to send Wooseok over, as he found himself completely collapsing into Jinho's arm as the shorter of the two rubbed his back. "It's okay, just let it all out."

\--------------

Wooseok was seated at a bench trying to regain his composure when Jinho returned, carrying cups of water for the both of them. He handed him his drink and took a seat next to him.

“I'm sorry, it just got a bit too much in there.” Wooseok sniffled.

Jinho gave a half smile. "No it's okay, I would have done the same if I hadn't been crying constantly for the past few days.”

The pair sat in silence, taking tiny sips of water from their cups. Eventually Wooseok cleared his throat.

“You know, you don't have to stay with me out here, you can go back in if you like.”

“No it's okay, i needed some air anyway.” Jinho's eyes began to well up. “I still can't believe he's actually gone, like…” He attempted to dab his eyes with his already damp sleeve. “I’d open his bedroom door and I’d fully expect him to be sitting on his bed, but he’s not. This could've been prevented. If I didn't stay at Hwitaek's on that day I would've returned on time and I could've been able to save him.”

Wooseok stared down at his cup. “More like if I stayed the night like I was supposed to…”

“Why didn't you stay over, just out of interest?”

“It’s so stupid, like we had quite a massive falling-out. We both said some things we didn't mean and I went home to get away and cool off.”

“Oh…” Jinho’s voice trailed off. “Well even if that did happen, that doesn't explain him not taking his meds. He’s not the type of person who just forgets.”

The pair sat in silence for a few more minutes until Jinho spotted his parents exiting the hall.

“I’m gonna go and talk to my parents, do you wanna come?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna… sit by myself for a little bit. Sort my thoughts out.”

“Okay, but if you need me just send me a message, okay?” Jinho got up to leave. He hugged Wooseok’s head and stroked his hair. “We’ll get through this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the worst piece of creative writing I've put out in a while, but dw actual stuff will happen next chapter~  
Deadass tho, most of the time I spent on this chapter was me trying to write a funeral scene without having gone to a funeral ever in my life, so if this chapter is weird af I apologise  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	9. Seven Faces

** _Ding dong._ **

Wooseok woke up from his third consecutive nap of the day to the sound of the doorbell ringing. He debated pretending as if he was still asleep, since he wasn’t expecting anyone, and even on the off-chance that he made plans weeks ago, he wasn’t in the mood to entertain any guests. Then he remembered his father mentioning earlier on in the day that he was waiting on a package, so he got up from the living room sofa and made his way to the door. As he peered through the peephole, he saw a familiar face wearing all black and holding what appeared to be a bag of groceries.

“Yuto?”

“Long time no see, Wooseok.” He lifted up the bag he was holding. “I come bearing gifts. Are you gonna let me in or nah?”

“Alright, alright.” Wooseok unlocked the door and let his friend in. “You’re lucky you’re one of maybe three people I would be okay with seeing right now.” He guided him to the kitchen and let Yuto place the bag on the counter. Yuto put his head in his hands and sighed deeply. “Do you know how worried I’ve been?”

“Is that why you decided to come over unannounced?”

“Well yeah, considering you weren’t answering any of my messages. I needed to make sure you were okay.”

“Sorry, it’s just kinda hard to reply to things when I’ve been inundated with messages from everyone and their mother.”

“Then I guess you are forgiven. Am I allowed to give you a hug?”

“I guess, I mean you’re probably just going to give me one anyw-”

Yuto pulled Wooseok into a tight embrace for what felt like 20 seconds before he finally let go. Wooseok awkwardly patted his back in return.

“I’m sorry, I just… you must be having a really hard time right now…” Yuto trailed off.

Wooseok rubbed his temples. “Well, that’s one way of describing it.”

“Just know that I will be here for you when you need me, mkay? And there are many others who also do, so you don’t need to go through this alone.”

“Thanks, I guess? I think I’m doing fine though?”

“If you say so,” Yuto had a sceptical look on his face. “Anyway I’m here to cook you some stuff.”

“You’re cooking? You don’t have to though.”

“I know I don’t, but I’m doing it anyway.” Yuto had already begun to take out the contents of the bag he came with. “Plus, when was the last time you had a delicious home-cooked meal?”

Wooseok cast his mind back to the army stew he made with Jinho and Hyunggu. “It’s been a while.”

“Exactly!” Yuto started to motion Wooseok out of the kitchen. “Now you go and wash up while I work my magic. Make sure you change into a clean set of clothes and brush your teeth, mkay?”

“What are you planning on making though?”

“That, my friend, is a surprise.” He pinched his nose. “Now go and wash, you smell like you haven’t had a shower in a week.”

One shower karaoke session later and Wooseok returned to the kitchen, wearing a fresh set of pyjamas. He found Yuto putting the finishing touches on a salad. On the kitchen table were two dishes: seafood yakisoba and kimchi okonomiyaki. 

“Oh, so you  _ cooked  _ cooked,” Wooseok found himself in awe of Yuto’s creations. “How were you able to make this much, though? I wasn’t gone for that long.”

“That’s what you think.” Yuto brought some plates to the table. “You were actually in the shower for quite a while. Thanks for the concert, by the way. You should really consider becoming a rock singer. Oh, and feel free to start eating without me, I’ll join you soon.”

Wooseok’s face reddened as he proceeded to help himself to some of the yakisoba. With the first bite his eyes lit up. “Holy shit.”

Yuto beamed. “Right? I don’t know how to cook that many dishes, but for the ones I do know, I make them pretty damn well.” He brought the last dish and joined Wooseok at the table. “Et voilà! Daikon salad, my pride and joy!”

“Arigats gozaimuch, Adachi-sama.” 

“Dude, if you ever say that again I will fight you. But you’re welcome, I try my best~” 

“This is honestly the best yakisoba I’ve had in my life, like my tastebuds are crying.”

“So if you had to rate it out of 10?”

“A solid 9.5.”

Yuto slouched in his chair with a dejected look on his face. “Damn dude, no 10?”

“Well,” Wooseok pondered for a bit. “I never rate anything a 10, since a 10 would mean perfection. And since I haven’t tasted perfection yet, nothing I’ve eaten has gotten that rating. Like I’ve eaten a lot of food from Michelin star restaurants, but even those don’t get a 10. Don't feel too bad bro.” He shovelled some more noodles into his mouth. “But I’m not even a food critic, so does my opinion really matter?”

“Um, yes it does? Dude I cooked for you, not for them.”

“I guess that makes sense… I dunno…” Wooseok had already cleared his plate and was now starting on the okonomiyaki. “Aren’t you gonna have something as well? I feel kinda bad eating all this by myself.”

“Nah, it’s alright, I made this for you. I can always make this for myself whenever I want.” He picked up a pair of salad tongs. “But I will have some of this beauty.”

“Ahh, but aren’t you hungry?”

“Hmm, not really. Watching you eat is satisfying enough. I kinda know how my mum feels now.”

Yuto let Wooseok enjoy his meal as he played with his salad for a while. He had been meaning to talk seriously with him about his current condition and offer a supporting hand in what was ultimately one of the worst moments of his life. But since he wasn’t particularly close with Wooseok just yet, he thought he might be overstepping his boundaries if he were to do so. Which led him to the decision of making some delicious food for him. After all, isn’t the way to a man’s heart through his stomach?

“So how are you really doing then?” He finally posed the question.

Wooseok feigned obliviousness.“What do you mean?”

“As in, this last fortnight must have been absolute hell for you.”

“I mean, I’ve been better.”

“I know that you're probably going through a really hard time right now, but I just want to let you know that… there are people who care about you and… you don't have to suffer alone. Ah shit, I’m bad at this kinda stuff.” He looked away. “It’s okay to reach out and share your grief with people and uh… we care about you.  _ I _ care about you. And I'll always be by your side. And if I can't be, then I'm only a phone call away, okay?” He looked back at Wooseok to find him with tears streaming down his face.

“Honestly, these past few days my sleep schedule has been a mess. Like, I’d go to sleep and then wake up 2 hours later cause I’d have a nightmare of Hyunggu dying, and then I’d remember that he’s actually dead and I’d feel like shit, so I’d go to sleep again and the whole cycle repeats. And my parents have tried to comfort me, but… I dunno, it’s awkward to have them actually pay attention to me so I told them to leave me alone but… I don’t want to be alone, I just want Hyunggu by my side… but he can’t…” he started to sob. “And I feel really stupid for being like this, cause Jinho and his family are probably having it worse than me…”

Yuto reached over for his hand and squeezed it tightly. “Wooseok. It’s okay to have feelings. Just because other people have it worse, it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to feel sad. Your best friend died, dude! You have to show  _ some _ kind of emotion! Like, I’m pretty sad myself, and I didn’t really know him that well. But I’m not thinking ‘oh, I can’t be sad because other people are probably sadder than I am’. It’s okay to feel, Wooseok. What isn’t okay is not allowing yourself the time to grieve properly.”

“... I needed to hear that.”   
“Anyway, lemme leave you to finish eating.” He got up and stretched. “Time to start washing these dishes.”

“You’re cooking  _ and _ clearing up? I’ll wash up instead-”   
“It’s fine, really,” Yuto waved him off. “I’m treating you. Now where are those wash gloves…”

  
  


After the pair had finished eating and clearing up, Wooseok headed to the garden to have a few puffs. Yuto joined him shortly after, a can of sparkling water in hand.

“Has this become the honorary sitting outside drink?” Wooseok quipped.

“Something like that,” Yuto sat down beside him. “I’m still thinking about how shiny your pots and pans are. I think we need to switch washing-up liquids at home.”

“Nah, they just never get used. Neither of my parents can cook that well so they’re just ornaments at this point.”

“Damn, that must suck.”

“Not really, we just order a lot.” Wooseok took a long drag. “Now that I think about it, the three of us are only together maybe two days a week max. And even then, we rarely eat together. Like Dad eats in his study and Mum eats in the kitchen.”

“Do you not join her, then?”

Wooseok chuckled feebly. “Imagine voluntarily being in the same room as her. Now that’s a concept.”   
“Is she that bad?”

“Hmm, let's say that she isn’t exactly the nicest person, especially towards me. I will not elaborate on that for now.”

“Damn.”

“It’s fine though, I mean it’s not like I’m constantly pining for her affection or something.” He sighed deeply. “Those days are long gone…”

Yuto finally cracked open his can and chugged it down, not quite knowing how to reply to what Wooseok said. “That’s kinda sad.”

“It’s not like I need her. Not when I have Hyunggu and… ah.”

“I’m sorry dude.”

“No don’t be. It’s not like you said anything bad. I just keep being reminded…” He stubbed out his cigarette and took another one out of his pocket, lighting it up. “It’s so stupid, like my brain keeps going back and forth between him being dead and being alive… I’m truly tired.” He took a drag. “I think after this one I’ll go back to sleep. I hope that’s okay with you.”

Yuto shrugged. “No worries, I need to get back anyway. I have a feeling I should probably do my homework that I’ve been putting off.”

“Oh shit, you’re busy?”

“Not like I would’ve done anything if i was at home right now. I’d probably be worrying about you instead of actually getting work done.”

“Well,” Wooseok furrowed his brow. “I guess that’s true.”

The time spent in the garden eventually drew to a close and it was time for Yuto to head back. At the front door, he gave Wooseok a hug as they said goodbye to each other.

“Thanks for letting intrude on your alone time, dude.” 

“It’s whatever,” Wooseok gave a half-smile. “Have you taken everything with you?” 

“I think so. Guess I’ll be off then.”

Wooseok opened the door to finally let his friend be on his way. But before he fully exited, he tugged on Yuto’s sleeve.

“Hey Yuto?”

“Huh, what’s up?”

“Thanks. For everything. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to come and see me…”

“No problem. Like I said, I’m here for you. Whenever.” 

“I’ll see you later, then.”

“Oh yeah, when are you coming back to school? Cause I’m not gonna lie, geography class is kinda boring without you.”

“Wow, way to ruin a sentimental moment, Adachi.” Wooseok playfully punched him. “Now you’ll never see me again.”

“Suuuuure. But I’ll see you when I see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title for this chapter: the WooYu agenda  
Also how have yall been coping with Jinho's enlistment  
Like I actually had a meltdown cause I was thoroughly convinced he'd go in the later half of the year and he still had time  
Now the xiu and the jin are in the military I only have the hoon with me (thank goodness he's my age-mate)  
Bruh I'm gonna miss this old man so much I actually feel like a military spouse tf  
But anyway
> 
> something something typos  
Tell me how bad of a writer I am on twt @xiujinhoon


	10. Under Black Sails

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo it's been a while~  
Chapters don't write themselves, thats craaaaaazy  
Anyway I hope this was worth the wait eventhoughitprobablyisntlmaooooo

After a few more days of self-loathing and irregular bedtimes, the time came for Wooseok to return to regular school life. He took his blazer out of the wardrobe and laid it on his bed, blankly staring at it as if this was his first time seeing it. In his mind he was preparing for the mentally taxing day he had ahead, as being in school wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience for him. Add the very high possibility of people harassing him asking about Hyunggu, and he was considering throwing himself in front of a bus. But that wouldn’t be fair on the bus driver or the passengers, so Wooseok pushed that thought aside and hastily started getting ready for school. Although he had no plans to go to the coffee shop today, a meeting with his Head of Year before registration meant that he still had to leave the house earlier than usual. Despite the semi-frequent exchange of emails between the pair of them during the period he was away, he was still being made to come in so they could speak face to face and finalise any arrangements that needed to be made for his return to school. 

He took a look outside at the pouring rain and decided to take the bus to school, as he didn’t particularly fancy carrying an umbrella that he would eventually lose at some point during the day. One delayed bus ride and a flight of stairs later, Wooseok found himself at the history department where the Head of Year’s office was. He could hear his booming voice, seemingly scolding a pupil for supposedly smashing a window. He signalled to the teacher that he had arrived and continued waiting outside the door for him to finish up. After a few more minutes, the pupil walked out, holding back tears. He shot a thumbs up to Wooseok. “He’s all yours now.” 

Wooseok walked in, unphased by what had happened before. Over the years he had visited the office more times than he could count, to the point where his parents and his Head of Year were almost buddy-buddy with each other.

“Wooseok, long time no see!” His Head of Year gestured for him to take a seat.

“Hi, sir.” He flashed a soulless smile.

“It’s nice to see you back with us after such a devastating incident.” He reached for a file on his desk. “So, how are you doing in regard to… everything that’s happened?”

“I mean, I’m still not over it obviously, but I think I’m at a point where I can… function? As in, I think I might be able to get through the day without crying.”

“Alright,” he started to scribble something down, “Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded if you took more time off, but your parents were concerned about you falling behind. I don’t really blame them, considering the time of year and all.”

“It do be like that sometimes.”

“Sorry?”

Wooseok sighed. “Nothing. It’s just that when I think about the amount of work I have to catch up on as well as all the revision that needs to be done, I feel like I want to break into the gym equipment storage and impale myself with a javelin.”

“Weirdly specific and slightly concerning, but okay,” he put his pen down. “So here’s what we’re gonna do. I’ll send an email to all your teachers suggesting that they reduce your workload for at least the next two weeks. Hopefully that’ll give you enough time to catch up and lessen the pressure you’re under. Additionally, I’d like to give you the option of studying away from the classroom, if you’d like to. So you can come and do your work here, if need be. I’ll be teaching most of the day, so aside from the occasional popping in to collect class resources, there’ll be no one here.”

Wooseok mulled over the idea for a moment before ultimately rejecting it. “Couldn’t I just go to the library instead? Honestly, I’d feel more comfortable there cause… let's just say that I don’t have particularly fond memories of this room, through no fault of your own, obviously.”

“That could work too.” the teacher jotted down a few more words. “I’ll be sure to email the librarian as well, then. My office is still available for use, should you change your mind.”

“Am I free to go, then?”

“Sure thing, feel free to shoot me an email should any issues arise. Oh, and Wooseok?”

“Yes sir?” 

“Stay strong, okay? Don’t hesitate to talk to anyone about how you’re feeling. It’s better out than in.”

“Erm, okay?” Wooseok raised an eyebrow. “I’ll be taking my leave now.”

  
  


\-----------------------

Wooseok had enough.

He was only two periods into the day, but his social battery had already been depleted. During his double biology class, classmates he hadn't spoken to since the year before were trying to chat with him as if they were on that level of acquaintance. Combine this with people randomly stopping him in the school corridors to mutter empty words of condolence, and Wooseok was fully considering spending the rest of the day in the library. Unfortunately for him, he had promised Yuto that they would meet up at break time, and so he found himself making his way to the canteen. He glanced around the area trying to find his friend, until he spotted him getting a hot drink from one of the vending machines. Instead of making his presence known by calling his name out or lightly tapping him on the shoulder, Wooseok instead opted for creeping up behind him and poking his sides.

“Boo!”

Yuto tensed up. “Holy shit! Please never do that again or I might drop dead.”

“Damn, my bad.” Wooseok was almost apologetic. “But look who’s actually here, in the flesh. And in uniform, at that.” 

“About time you turned up, break time is nearly over.” He checked his pulse to see if he still had a heartbeat. “Anyway, lemme grab my drink and we’ll find a place to sit down before I collapse.”

“Okay, so,” Yuto stirred his hot chocolate to cool it down quicker. “How has your day been? Are you holding up well?”

“Well so far it’s been better than I expected. Which still isn’t great, but I really can’t complain at this point, can I?”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah, the only thing bothering me is that people keep trying to be all nice. Like last period I had all these girls come up to me being all like: “Oh my gosh, I hope you’re doing okay! I can only imagine how you feel, cause I had a class with Hyunggu once and I’m basically distraught right now!”. I don’t know what’s up with everyone’s incessant need to be kind to me all of a sudden, but I need it to stop. Go back to ignoring me or whatever.”

“I’m just taking a guess here, but it might be down to the fact that you’ve lost your best friend.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” Wooseok rubbed his eyes. “I’m just too tired to deal with all this today. I need a coffee, or three.”

“Why don’t you get one from the canteen, then?”

“And drink that nasty vending machine concoction? No thanks. Do you know the last time it was cleaned?”

Yuto stopped stirring and set his drink aside. “Good point. So you’re just gonna be grumpy for the entirety of today, then?”

“Seems like it. Either that or I sneak behind the bike shed and snort some caffeine, straight up.”

“Are you trying to get yourself suspended, or…?”

“Hmm, now that you mention it, another week off school doesn't sound that bad, actually.”

“Dude, really though?”

“Relax, I’m joking, kinda. Okay I don’t have any pure caffeine but as soon as I can find a way to get some I will no longer be on this earth, trust me.”

Yuto grabbed Wooseok’s hands and looked into his eyes with a look of concern. “Wooseok are you sure you’re okay cause what you just said is  _ quite _ disturbing.”

“Oh absolutely. I mean, these thoughts are tame compared to the ones from a few weeks back, don’t worry. I’m just… tired. Yeah, tired....”

“If you say so, dude,” he let go of his hands and grabbed his hot chocolate, taking a swig.

“Wait, so you’re just gonna chance it?”

“I’ve been drinking from that machine since the beginning of the year and I haven’t gotten ill yet, so yeah, I will. I paid for this, dammit.”

“But-” their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the bell.

“Now that I think about it, did I even do my homework for next period…” Yuto pondered.

“Welp, time to die.” Wooseok sighed.

“Why, what do you have next?”

He threw up some pitiful jazz hands. “P.E~”

“Unfortunately I haven’t known you long enough to know what P.E means to you, but I’ll see you in geography, yeah?”

“Let’s hope so.” He gave Yuto a parting fist bump. “See you then.”

The greatest obstacle standing between Wooseok and a pleasant first day back was P.E, aka his ‘favourite’ class. In a cruel twist of fate, despite his height he hadn’t been blessed with any athletic ability whatsoever, resulting in him being a stumbly, uncoordinated mess no matter what sport he played, be it lacrosse or bowling. To make matters worse, he just so happened to be in the same class as quite a few people who seemed to have been anointed by Hermes himself. And the cherry on top? They were playing dodge-ball. Wooseok had many a time wondered what chemicals the P.E department were putting in the water fountains for the boys in his year group to throw with the strength of shot put athletes, as every time he was forced to play he would end up with bruises that would last for weeks. He didn’t particularly fancy getting any new ones, especially when he was already lacking in energy, so his plan for this session would be to get eliminated immediately, and spend the rest of the lesson doing nothing. Hopefully his team would be alright being one member down from the get go, not that he would contribute anything in the first place. With the blow of his teacher’s whistle signifying the start of the game, he put himself directly in the line of fire, valiantly sacrificing himself for the greater good of his team. With that over and done, he made his way over to the benches at the other end of the gym and sat down, watching the rest of the war unfold. 

_ “Wooseok watch out!” _

At some point, he had zoned out and didn’t notice a ball heading directly towards him until it connected with his forehead.

** _*Thud!*_ **

The blow almost knocked him off the bench, which was quite impressive considering the ball didn’t even weigh that much. As he came out of his disorientation, his assailant came into view.  _ What was his name again? Youngsoo? Haneul? Chad? _ Wooseok was always bad at names. But he did know he was part of the school’s basketball team. And that made the throw seem a bit suspect. Deliberate, even.

“Oh sorry for that, it slipped out of my hands, haha,” he retrieved the ball and gave Wooseok a playful nudge on the shoulder. “No hard feelings, yeah?”

“Sure, I’m just surprised the ball managed to reach me, considering I’m sitting on the opposite side of the gym to where the game is taking place, but whatever.”

“Haha, cool. It’s your turn to go on, by the way.”

Wooseok looked at him in disbelief. “What do you mean? Was I not taken out at the beginning of the game?”

“Yeah, well if you knew the rules of dodge ball, you’d know that if a teammate catches the opposing team’s ball, an eliminated player can be brought back in.” He passed the ball to Wooseok. “Time to shine, beanstalk boy.”

The good news was that against all odds, Wooseok’s team managed to win the game. The not-so-good news was that his torso was now decorated with colourful bruises from being used as a meat shield during a barrage from the opposing team. They even continued pelting him long after he was taken out, even going as far as to aim for his head. He might not have known the rules of rules of dodge ball that well, but he was pretty sure head-shots were not allowed. And did the P.E teacher do anything about that? Of course not, that would’ve been an inconvenience. Wooseok’s already pissy mood had now turned completely sour and he didn’t really want to spend a second longer in the changing room surrounded by buffoons who probably consider ‘dark humour’ as a replacement for an actual personality. Maybe it was in his head, but as he was gathering his things to leave the changing room he could’ve sworn that he heard that Chad dude making jokes about Hyunggu.  _ Am I just being paranoid? I mean why would someone say something like that, especially about someone who is actually dead? _

“..I’m just saying, if you’re going to die, why would you not wait until the exam period, like we could have gotten our predicted grades, man.”

Wooseok had heard clearly this time. “What the actual fuck did you just say?” He turned around and grabbed him by the collar. “Are you fucking serious?! You can’t just say shit like that!”

The commotion was enough to attract the attention of his teacher, who came over to see what was going on. “Wooseok? What’s the meaning of this? Let him go right now!”

“Please,” Wooseok was fighting back tears. “Let me swing at this fucker at least once.”

“Now you know I can’t do that, unless you want a suspension, or potential exclusion. Now let him go. I recognise that you’re going through a hard time right now, but this behaviour is inexcusable.”

Wooseok looked at not-Chad, who had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face. “Fine.” He released his grip and his classmate dusted himself off and resumed changing. He heard a subtle ‘that’s what I thought, bitch’ and suddenly he was overcome with rage. He found himself grabbing his classmate’s head and slamming it into the wall.

“What the fuck???” Blood was oozing out of his nostrils. “Is my nose broken???”

“Wooseok, what the hell do you think you are doing?!” Was this his teacher growing a spine? 

“Oh, shut the fuck up, you raggedy bitch. You saw all the shit he did in the gym but the  _ one _ time I decide to fight back, it’s a problem? Nah, this guy had it coming.” He gathered his P.E kit and stormed out of the changing room.

“Oi, where do you think you’re going?” he heard his teacher call after him.

“I’m taking myself to the Head of Year’s office so you don’t have to worry about getting someone to escort me!” he screamed back, slamming the door behind him.

\------------------------------

The one good thing about being put in isolation is that it meant he’d be left alone for the rest of the day. Sure, he’d have his parents to answer to after school, but he was going to enjoy some peace and quiet while it lasted. Retreating to a table in the far corner of the library, he took out his Japanese workbook and kanji writing paper. If he was going to be cooped up in the library for the next few hours, he was going to do something productive, even if it meant practising kanji till he got blisters on his fingers. 30 minutes of trying to learn  事務所 with the correct stroke order elapsed before he took his first break. One perk about being out of the librarian’s field of view was that he could use his phone without getting caught, so long as he was quiet. After a well-deserved stretch, he took his phone out to check for any messages. Yuto had caught wind of what happened and sent an emotional string of messages stating how much his presence would be missed in class. He stifled a snicker as he read paragraph after paragraph of Yuto’s dramatics. In the corner of his eye, he saw a shadow approaching the area where he was seated. Scared it was the librarian, he hurriedly put his phone away and picked up his pencil. When the person finally came in view, Wooseok exhaled a sigh of relief. It was only Hwitaek, carrying a few textbooks. 

“Long time no see.” Hwitaek greeted tentatively. 

“Come and sit with me, I’m bored.” He beckoned him over. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in isolation, though? After your little… freak-out, to put it lightly.”

“Understatement of the century,” he pressed on his pencil with his thumb until it snapped. “But how do you know about that already? We’re not even in the same year.”

“Hyojong has his sources.” Hwitaek set his textbooks on the table with a slightly loud thud. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to sit here?”

“Sure, go ahead.” Wooseok cleared some more space on the table for him. “But if the librarian comes over, we don’t know each other and you had no idea that I was supposed to be alone.”

Hwitaek’s mouth curved into a timid smile. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Wooseok returned his attention back to his kanji practice, substituting his pencil for one that was still intact.

As Hwitaek settled down, Wooseok wondered why he seemed so different. There wasn’t the usual warmth in his voice and it was almost as if they were strangers. He stared intently at Hwitaek skimming the pages of his textbook, trying to figure out why he was acting this way. “Hey, are we good?”

“I feel like I should be the one asking you that, considering you avoided me at the funeral, and then proceeded to ignore all my messages.” Hwitaek didn’t look up from his textbook.

“Yikes.” He had completely forgotten about that. “If it makes you feel any better, I ignored everyone, so it wasn’t like you were the only one receiving that treatment.”

“Um, not really, but I appreciate the sentiment,” he turned a page. “You know, I’m really glad that graphical calculators exist. Like, I don’t even have to think while doing maths anymore.”

“...You’re mad at me, aren’t you?”

Hwitaek looked up slowly, with a pained expression in his eyes. “I won’t say mad, more like disappointed. You really had me thinking that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, as if the five years we spent together were because I was a friend of Hyunggu’s, not because you genuinely liked me as a person.”

Wooseok tried to come up with something to say to reassure him, but his brain was failing him. “It’s… it’s not like that-”

“But that’s how you made it seem. I know I’m not as close to you as you are to Hyojong and Jinho, but my feelings are still hurt. And speaking of Jinho, do you know how hard it is not being able to comfort him as he cries and blames himself for your not being able to pick up his damn calls? I’m not saying you’re a shitty person, but your actions these past few weeks have been very telling. But whatever, we’re not having this conversation today. I’ll let you get on with your work.”

Hwitaek didn’t say anything else for the remainder of their time together, even when the bell rang for lunchtime and he left the library. Wooseok remained seated, his appetite killed by Hwitaek’s words going round and round in his head. He couldn’t concentrate on his work anymore; his motivation by this point had fizzled out. Trying to stave off the negative thoughts that were beginning to pop up in his head, he took out his earphones and loaded a power metal playlist. Unfortunately for him, no matter how high he turned up the volume, the voices in his head were always going to be louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Wooseok he can't catch a break smh  
#FreeWooseok my boy did nothing wrong  
If there are any typos I didn't catch, feel free to point them out ty in advance
> 
> Tell me how bad of a writer I am @xiujinhoon


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